A-Z GUIDE TO MOVIES AND TV SHOWS PARODIED BY MAD, CRACKED, CRAZY, ETC. UP TO 1996. THEY HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS. SPOILERS AND OTHER NON-SEQUITURS, TOO. SOMETIMES THESE THINGS HAVE WORDS OR SITUATIONS WE DON'T USE ANYMORE. YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE THEY'RE OLD.
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The Wizard of Oz is one of those things in everyone's DNA that everyone knows the story of, characters, situations, songs, lines, and phrases are part of the international lexicon. I probably haven't even seen it in nearly forty years and would recognize any reference, so would you. Therefore, I need not sum it up.
Oh, all right... In a nutshell, Dorothy (Judy Garland) is bored of her existence on a farm in Kansas, a tornado uproots her home, and she ends up in the land of Oz. Her house has landed on the Wicked Witch of the East, liberating all the citizens of Oz. She wants to get back home, and she's told by the Munchkins there that if she follows the yellow brick road she will meet the wizard (Frank Morgan), who will help her. Along the way, she meets the Tin Man (Jack Haley), Scarecrow (Ray Bolger), and the Cowardly Lion (Bert Lahr) who are seeking a heart, brain, and courage, respectively. They join Dorothy on her quest. The Wicked Witch of the West (Margaret Hamilton), keeps trying to stop them every step of the way. They finally meet the wizard who acts all powerful and Dorothy's dog Toto, who was with Dorothy all along, rips a curtain to reveal the wizard is just a con man. He tells everybody what they've been looking for has been inside them all along. Dorothy repeats the mantra “There's no place like home” and wakes up on her farm. It was all a dream and the characters in her dream were all weird forms of farm hands and neighbors...
There, you happy now?
From Scenes We'd Like to See, back cover of MAD #123, December 1968, by Don Edwing and Jack Rickard.
MAD #128, July 1969
In this version, Auntie Em is Tiny Tim and Dorothy is Liza Minelli, who happened to be the real-life daughter of Judy Garland.
Aah, the old banana hoax. I learned about it from MAD. I don't know if they believed it or were in or it. Basically, while there were all kinds of rumors and conspiracy theories about what hippies did, they created one of their own. They said that you can get high by grinding the inside of the skins into a powder and smoking it. I also don't know if that's what they thought you did or you held a whole unpeeled banana up to your mouth and lit it, then inhaled it, like it was a cigarette or joint.
The main munchkin is Dustin Hoffman while others are Simon & Garfunkel.
Pat Boone is the Scarecrow.
George Hamilton is the Tin Man and Michael J. Pollard is the Cowardly Lion.
Ed Sullivan is the Guru. There's no poppy field barricade to his castle.
MAD #157, March 1973
Here's some variations on the yellow-brick road theme.
The shock one experiences when leaping through time is always funny to me. If I woke up in the world of 2024 having been in a coma since 1994, sure things would be hard to adjust to. So much would be completely different and I'd be surprised by a lot of changes. I might be surprised we have no World Trade Center and things cost twice as much but it's not like I'd be completely lost like characters in movies seem to be. Except maybe if I was left loose in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. But still, I'll run into people I haven't seen since the nineties and we'll talk as if no time has passed. And I still have some of the same clothes and furniture I've had since 2000. And people still bring up a prank I pulled in 1991 as if it still has repercussions (it hardly had any back then).
THE WIZARD OF ODDS
MAD #300, January 1991
w: Frank Jacobs
a: Sam Viviano
The Good Witch is Vanna White. The Wicked Witch of the East is meant to be Leona Helmsley, a New York City real estate mogul. Among the Yupkins are Michael J. Fox, Ted Turner and Jane Fonda (in her Barbarella costume), Meryl Streep, and Sam Viviano. Imelda Marcos was first lady of Phillipines who had hundred of shoes.
The first panel has Reagan's budget director David Stockman and Michael Douglas and Charlie Sheen of Wall Street. In the middle are Richard Gere and Julia Roberts as their characters from Pretty Woman.
The Witch of the South is Tammy Fake Bakker, wife of an indicted televangelist mocked for her excessive make-up. The wizard is a guy named Donald Trump, a millionaire with a big ego who was everywhere in the eighties and nineties. He seems to have disappeared from the public eye and nobody knows where he is now.
Cover to the British edition.
From Cracked's Sequels to Classic Movies, #180, September 1981, art by John Severin.
This article was longer ago now than this movie was then, so suck on that.
There was an updated musical called The Wiz with an all-black cast. It looks like the cover was commisioned far ahead of the interior and afterwards they figured it wasn't big enough for an interior parody.
THE GORE OF THE ROSES
MAD #296, July 1990
w: Dick DeBartolo
a: Mort Drucker
The movie is a story told by Gavin D'Amato which he tells a client a about a marriage gone wrong before the guy considers a divorce himself. The story begins with a colleague of his, Oliver Rose (Michael Douglas), whose marriage to Barbara (Kathleen Turner), starts out perfect when they meet at an antiques show, buy a house, have kids, and hire a maid. Things begin to begin going downward after an argument in bed one night.
After a heart attack, Oliver is rushed to the hospital and Barbara didn't visit him because she says things were too hectic, then she confesses she wants a divorce. Neither wants to give up the house and there's no way either of them is obligated to give it up, so they finally agree to live in it separately, This results in endless fighting including his not telling her he ran over the family cat. They assure the kids (Sean Astim, Heather Fairfield) it isn't that bad and even try to reconcile.
Douglas and Turner had been in Romancing the Stone and Jewel of the Nile together. He appeared in Fatal Attraction which had a scene where his mistress boils the family's pet rabbit. In the scene where the Roses try to reconcile, she serves him pate which she says is from the dog. Later a scene of the dog outside is edited in, and I'll wager that it was done at the last minute because of comments from test audiences
Oliver embarasses Barbara at dinner, she retaliates by running over his sports car. They continue to destroy each others' silverware, ornaments, furniture, and other possessions. Barbara hides in the attic. Eventually they find themselves hanging from a chandelier which Oliver and the maid try to rescue them from, but it's too late and they fall to their death.
Here Gavin has been telling the story to Mike Tyson who was going through a divorce case of his own during this time and served several years for domestic violence.
There are appearances by Geraldo Rivera and Bob Vila here. Zsa Zsa Gabor was arrested in 1990 for hitting a cop.
TOTALLY RECALLED
MAD #299, December 1990
w: Dick DeBartolo
a: Mort Drucker
The Cracked parody goes into a bit more detail so if you're lost without what I write follow there.
I don't think the MAD staff knew that Teller's whole act was that he didn't talk.
Reference to the Arnold Schwarzenegger/Danny DeVito vehicle Twins which will also be parodied here in a couple weeks.
TOTALLY RECALLED
Cracked # 258, November 1990
a: Walter Brogan
In the future Doug Quade (Arnold Schwarzenegger) has a dream he's on Mars and is woken up by his wife Lori (Sharon Stone)
The woman in the dream is Maria Shriver, Schwarzenegger's real life wife, an anchorperson and well-known Democrat though he was Republican governor of California.
They have x-rays on the subway, and Doug tells his co-worker he's considering Recall, a virtual reality program where you roleplay at another location yet are just at the office there for only a few minutes. People tell him it's dangerous but he does it anyway. His fantasy visit to Mars malfunctions and he ends up escaping into what is apparently the real world and being chased by people he ends up killing.
Doug gets back home to tell his wife what happened. She turns out to be an assassin sent from Mars to kill him. It is Quaid that's the fantasy and he was given secrets the Martians must retrieve. He actually is Carl Hauser, the Martian secret agent from Quaid's fantasy, and has no idea what's really going on. He has a tracking device inside him, and is being chased by Vilos Cohaagen (Ronny Cox), who owns all the air there. Other spies on Carl's side find him as he's running through the city, tell him to put a turban on so he can't be detected, and where a suitcase is that has a projection of himself that gives him instructions. First he must pull the tracking device out through his nose then “get your ass to Mars”.
Doug/Carl is in some alleyway while he's following instructions and throws the device out into the street. Cohaagen's man think they've tracked him down but get to the alleyway and see rats surrounding it. He takes a flight to Mars disguised as a middle aged woman and the robotic disguise malfunctions, he breaks out of it at the same time Colhaagen's men find him, and it explodes.
On Mars, Carl follows the clues which tell him to find Melina (Rachel Ticotin). A cab driver named Benny (Mel Johnson Jr.) takes him to Mars' red light district and he finds her at a bar. Later, while Hauser is in his hotel room, Dr. Edgemar (Roy Brocksmith) intervenes. He's a Recall employee who's come to talk Quaid down. Carl Hauser was never real, this is all part of the fantasy, but the machine broke and Quaid's stuck in the alternate reality. He brought Lori to help. Carl doesn't believe a word of it and shoots them.
Carl and Melina think Benny's helping them escape Cohaagen but he's actually bringing them to Kuato (Marshall Bell) member of the rebels that speaks through his conjoined twin, trying to stop Cohaagen from turning off the air and suffocating everyone on Mars. Carl does, gives everyone breathable air, then wonders which he's which reality he's in.
TONIGHT LIVE WITH STEVE VIZARD
Seven Network, 1990-1993
Australian MAD #298, October 1990
a & w: Andrew Fyfe
Talk show from Australia with a set that looked almost a\exactly like Late Night with David Letterman, using the same format of his show, as well as the format of The Tonight Show.
The show's musical director was Paul “The Count” Grabowsky.
The difference between talk shows here was a serious news segment, which was presented by sidekick Jennifer Keyte. Here the guest is Queensland premier Joh Bjelke-Petersen.
Although Green Card was an American movie than took place in New York and didn't have any Australian characters, its director was Australian and it had an early release there. The movie was a romantic comedy made by someone who had previously done movies such as Gallipoli and The Year of Living Dangerously, and looked more like those than a romantic comedy.
Brontë (Andie MacDowell) marries frenchman Georges Fauré (Gerard Dépardieu) so he can get a green card and she can get the apartment with a greenhouse, which she could only have on the condition that she's married. Their agreement is they never have to see each other after getting what they want. She later runs into him at his job as a waiter and at the apartment her nosy neighbor and doorman keep asking where the husband is.
Dépardieu had previously played Cyrano DeBergerac.
Brontë tracks Georges down since she needs him there for an appointment by the Department of Immigration and Naturalization, which is cracking down on sham marriages like this one, and they find they know nothing about each other, even their names.
INS is suspicious when agent Gorsky (Ethan Phillips) asks to use the bathroom and Georges can't find it. Brontë's lawyer (Robert Prosky) tells her the INS wasn't convinced and is coming back for a further inspection for two days, and they have to get up to speed and be on the same page. Once they get to know each other they find they have nothing in common. If anybody sees them in public and asks, he says he's to say he's an old friend in town for a political demonstration.
She's a vegetarian and he's a meat-eater. When they're grocery shopping, they run into her friend Lauren (Bebe Neuwirth) and Georges invites Lauren over for lunch. Later, Brontë has dinner with Lauren's family in hopes they'll donate their floral collection to her environmental group. Lauren shows up later with Georges as her date. He says he's a composer, they ask him to play something on their piano, and he embarrasses everyone with an avant-garde composition. Later, Brontë and Georges concoct a background story to tell the INS officers which includes faking pictures of themselves at various locales.
Brontë has a date with her real life boyfriend Phil and keeps Georges awake while he sleeps on the couch. He can't take it anymore and yells at them, and Brontë kicks him out. He spends the night on the floor outside the apartment. When they're discovered the next morning by Mrs. Kravitz (that's not really her name) they come up with a story that he locked himself out of the apartment. They then realize they have to go to the INS office for questioning, where they are grilled separately. He fails and gets deported, then they both realize they're really in love.
SICKLY MINUTES MEETS THE CORNBALL COMPANY
Australian MAD #284, January 1989
w & a: Robert Fidgeon
The Comedy Company was a sketch comedy show in Australia. Kylie Mole (Mary-Ann Fahey) was one of the most famous recurring characters, a teenager who often interviewed celebrities, similar to Jiminy Glick or Chris Farley doing The Chris Farley Show on SNL.
The cover gag refers to superstar Kylie Minogue and Jason Donovan.
Correspondents on their version of Sixty Minutes were Ian Leslie, Richard Carleton, Jennifer Byrne, Mike Munro, and Jeff McMullen. The cast of The Comedy Company, besides the aforementioned Kylie Mole, were Siobhan Tuke, Glenn Robbins, Kym Gyngell, Tim Smith, Ian McFadyen, and Mike Mitchell.
Another character who continued outside the show was Con the Fruiterer (Mark Mitchell), who became an actual health advocate.
COL'N CARPENTRY
Australian MAD #307, December 1991
w & a: Steve Lopes
The show spun off to a separate sitcom, with the character Col'n Carpenter (Kym Gyngell) sharing a home with Michael (Stig Wemyss) and Linda (Kaarin Fairfax)
