THE MISS AMERICAN BEAUTY PAGEANT

THE MISS AMERICA BEAUTY PAGEANT
1954-?, NBC, ?, Peacock

THE MISS AMERICAN BEAUTY PAGEANT
MAD # 107, December 1966
w: Dick DeBartolo
a: Mort Drucker

Believe it or not, at one time Miss America was actually considered a big deal. At its height, the beauty pageant was on prime time TV like the Oscars. Knowing who Miss America was was somewhat common knowledge. Judges were people you've heard of. It was kind of the equivalent of the Presidency back when the idea of a woman in politics was considered like a unicorn. It was started a hundred years ago and has always been on the boardwalk in Atlantic City. While he was still alive, Bert Parks was the emcee. I have no idea who is now. It may have been televised in the last few years but I don't know where. Maybe late night syndication where they have infomercials. It's streaming now. It started losing legitimacy in the past fifty years as feminism started gaining traction. The final nail in the coffin may have been in 1984 when that year's Miss America did a Penthouse pictorial, it caused a big scandal, and then everybody realized they're basically the same thing when it comes down to it. Or maybe it was when imitations like Miss USA and Miss Teen USA started popping up.

Co-hostess is Bess Myerson, one-time Miss America, disgraced mayoral aide, and childhood friend of founding MAD artist Bill Elder. Announcer is John Cameron Swayze. I don't think the chairman of BVD is based on a real person, but Otto Preminger is caricatured. He's the director of films such as Anatomy of a Murder and The Man with the Golden Arm but probably best known as Mr. Freeze on Batman. Woody Allen's in the audience and regardless of where you stand on his innocence, we know for a fact he likes them young.

Across the pond, in Great Britain they had their equivalent, Miss Cosmos.

IF THE PRESIDENT WERE CHOSEN LIKE “MISS AMERICA”
MAD #127, June 1969
w: Earle Doud
a: Jack Rickard

The judges here are the head of Boeing aircraft, Dick Gregory, and Otto Preminger. Woody Allen is in the same place in the audience again. It doesn't look like this panel was swiped from the panel in the previous strip though.

In the booth is June Lockhart.

MAD #170, October 1974
w: Frank Jacobs
a: Jack Rickard

Bobby Riggs was a tennis player who declared any man could beat any woman at the game, and staged a Battle of the Sexes game against pro Billie Jean King to prove it, which he lost.

Jane Fonda was a sex symbol turned activist, preaching far left causes such as the plight of Native Americans and pulling out of Vietnam.

MISS AMERICA CONTEST
Cracked #90. January 1971
a: John Severin

I'VE GOT THE SECRETS

I'VE GOT A SECRET
1952-1967, 1972-1976 CBS


The premise of the game show is pretty self-explanatory, a panel of celebrities asked a bunch of questions to a person to try and guess a trait about them.

From The Population Explosion and How It Will Affect Future Living in MAD #62, April 1961, by Larry Siegel and George Woodbridge.

From TV's Effect On Children in MAD #79, June 1963, by Stan Hart and Wallace Wood

From Combined TV Shows by Paul Laikin and Mort Drucker in MAD #47, June 1959. combining it with The Huntley-Brinkley Report

From If TV Shows Were Actually Like Their Capsuled Descriptions by Earle Doud and Mort Drucker, in MAD #69, March 1962

From Russian TV Shows in Cracked #19, April 1961, by Paul Laikin and John Severin.

From If Political Figures Did TV Guest Shots in Cracked #20, By Paul Laikin and John Severin

The show had various hosts over the years.

C. P. O. SHARKEYE

C. P. O. SHARKEY
1976-1978 NBC

C. P. O. SHARKEYE
Sick #119, February 1978
w: Joe Gill
a: Jack Sparling

Sitcom vehicle for Don Rickles and his brand of humor that wouldn't go over today. He was a naval officer in charge insulting to his multi-ethnic crew but had a loving interior, just like his stage persona.

For those unfamiliar with the way he was on talk shows, here's an earlier article from MAD.

IF EVERYONE TALKED LIKE DON RICKLES
MAD #131, December 1969
w: Earle Doud
a: Angelo Torres

Back to Sick.

A FAMILY REUNION WITH DON RICKLES
Sick #122, August 1978
w & a: Bill Burke

UPDATE:
EVERYBODY IS DOING THE DON RICKLES BIT
Cracked #80, October 1969
a: Noel Severin (John Severin)

Like the other MAD article here it was made well before this show but his act was much funnier.

BANANAZ

BONANZA
1959-1973 NBC

BANANAZ
MAD #73, September 1962
w: Earle Doud & Lou Silverstone
a: Mort Drucker

Long-running Western about the Cartwright family, headed by Ben (Lorne Greene) raising his three sons Adam (Pernell Roberts), Little Joe (Michael Landon), and Hoss (Dan Blocker) on the Ponderosa ranch.

From the Cracked article When Other Shows Copy the Rowan and Martin Comedy Format in issue #76, May 1969

Jack Davis did this cover for Sick #18, February 1963

From TV Scenes Worth Waiting For in Sick #39, illustrated by Angelo Torres.

From If TV Shows Were Written by the Ad Agencies (artist unknown) in Sick #48, November 1966

(“Stronger Than Dirt” was an Ajax campaign)

Jack Davis also did a TV Guide cover.

From Playdead magazine in National Lampoon, January 1973

Bonanza was also a comics series in the 60s.