A-Z GUIDE TO MOVIES AND TV SHOWS PARODIED BY MAD, CRACKED, CRAZY, ETC. UP TO 1996. THEY HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS. SPOILERS AND OTHER NON-SEQUITURS, TOO. SOMETIMES THESE THINGS HAVE WORDS OR SITUATIONS WE DON'T USE ANYMORE. YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE THEY'RE OLD.
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ROBOCRAP 2
MAD #298, October 1990
w: Stan Hart
a: Angelo Torres
The city of Detroit has become even worse than in the first movie with the Omni Corporation taking over the city and the police force on strike. The only law enforcement is RoboCop/Alex Murphy (Peter Weller) and his partner Anne Lewis (Nancy Allen), and criminals are scared of him and his inability to err.
In the lower left is Hob (Gabriel Damon), who isn't used in this parody. He plays a major part in the movie as one of the leaders in the drug gang, used by them because they know RoboCop is programmed to not shoot minors.
If Detroit defaults on their loan from Omni, it will take over the city and build a new one, because of a contract that was signed by Mayor Kuzak (Wendell Pugh).
I'm not sure what the basketball reference is here. It's funny they reference Batman here considering Frank Miller, author of Dark Knight, wrote the screenplay. Ford Pintos were recalled because they were known to explode on impact.
Murphy is parked outside of his widowed wife's home watching his former family, she's threatening to sue the Omni Corporation, and they're looking for ways to get rid of him. Cain (Tom Noonan), leader of a drug gang, has invented a drug called Nuke, and has lured RoboCop to their warehouse, and disassembled him.
This was before Michael Moore was well known enough to make fat jokes and liberal jokes about but well-known enough for being intrusive.
The gang has now dropped the severed Robocop at the steps of the Omni Corporation, where they try to put him back together, but Dr. Juliette Faxx (Belinda Bauer) has plans for creating a new, improved RoboCop, or RoboCop 2, if you will, which she pitches to the head of Omni (Dan O'Herlihy).
A section is left out here where RoboCop is deliberately reprogammed to mess up.
Cain is injured in an accident trying to defeat RoboCop, and doctor Faxx uses his body to develop RoboCop 2.
More is left out as the drug gang buys back the city on the condition the city leaves them alone, Robocop 2 is introduced to the public and uses Nuke as fuel but gets addicted which makes it go awry. The dependency ultimately kills RoboCop 2. MAD probably used up its five-page limit with “made of metal” jokes so it couldn't get to parodying crucial scenes.
The British version had its own cover.
So did Germany as usual. Arnold Schwarzenegger was the reigning action star there as well, so the joke easily translates unlike some of the cover gags on foreign editions.
And Brazil
ROBO COP-OUT, TOO
Cracked #259. December 1990
a: Frank Borth
The omitted scenes from MAD are taken care of here.
DEADWOOD SCISSORSHAM
MAD #304, July 1991
w: Dick DeBartolo
a: Angelo Torres
Starts with Wynona Ryder in old-age makeup telling the story of Edward Scissorhands to her granddaughter. Edward (Johnny Depp) is the creation of an inventor (Vincent Price), who is here in the splash, but we actually don't see him at the beginning of the movie.
Peg (Dianne Wiest) is an Avon representative who comes across a mansion while making her rounds and discovers Edward to be its sole resident and takes him in. The nosy and horny neighbors in their housing development see she has a new boarder and are curious about him.
At dinner with Peg's family, he has trouble using a knife and fork with his hands. While helping with the barbecue, an electric can opener brings flashbacks to life with the inventor. (He dies from a heart attack before getting a chance to give Edward human hands, not from being impaled). At the picnic, he becomes a hit when he gives he housewives and their their dogs new haircuts.
One of the housewives here is Sinead O'Connor
He becomes an overnight sensation in the town and appears on a talk show. The host here is drawn as Geraldo Rivera. Peg's daughter Kim (Wynona Ryder) and her boyfriend Jim (Anthony Michael Hall) take advantage of Edward's ability to pick locks with his hands to break into the part of Jim's house where his father hides his money, but the alarm system traps Edward, who is wrongfully arrested and too timid to do anything about it.
Kim sees Edward's vulnerable side and falls in love with him. The town doesn't, and turns against him. (Left out: He and one of the neighbors plan to open a hair salon together, but when he doesn't read her sexual advances, she feels scorned and joins the mob). Edward retreats to his mansion, Kim follows, Jim finds them and they fight, leading to Jim's accidental death. Kim leaves Edward, never to see him again, and as she exits the mansion convinces the crowd that Edward is dead in addition to Jim.
The cops in Edward's arrest are Depp's co-stars from 21 Jump Street.
EDWARD SCISSORHANDY
Cracked #263, July 1991
a: Frank Borth
Cracked did this one-page parody.
This was in the issue before that one.
Here was the cover for the Australian edition. They didn't actually have 304 issues, they just kept their numbering in sync with the home version.
I think there was more than one porn parody called Edward Penishands.
DUNCES WITH WOLVES
MAD #305, September 1991
w: Stan Hart
a: Mort Drucker
By this time, their parodies were getting shorter to include more in the issue, which meant they couldn't cover most of the film. Most of the movies they chose to do were usually two hours or more, this one being three made it harder to condense into four pages. It also means not having to rewatch things. They got the gist of it.
During the Civil War, Lt. Dunbar (Kevin Costner) is wounded in battle. He is rewarded for his bravery and given a post. When he gets there he finds it abandoned, And adopts the only being he sees, a wolf he names Two Socks.
Field of Dreams was Kevin Costner's previous movie.
Costner was also in The Untouchables. Signs with the names of various Costner vehicles are spread throughout.
The Oscar refers to how Jeremy Irons won it that year for Best Actor in Reversal of Fortune against Kevin Costner for this movie)
Dunbar comes across a Sioux tribe who's initially hostile to him and he meets Stands With a Fist (Mary McDonnell), a white woman adopted by the tribe, and begins a romantic relationship with her. Since he's virtually the only character that speaks English in the movie, much of it is told through voice-over as diary entries, or in the language of the Lakota Indian tribe.
The tribe begins to respect Dunbar, inviting him to a ceremony. He is accepted as one of them when he informs them of a herd of buffalo.
He's accepted as one of them and gets the name... well, you know.
He eventually marries Stands with a Fist, and is found by the U. S. Army and initially arrested as a deserter, and they're followed by Two Socks. The Sioux tribe insists he is one of them and free him, taking him back. That part is missing from the parody, and they only include the scene of him leaving them voluntarily for their sake.
Also missing from the parody is a piece of text telling us the fate of the Sioux tribe.
In #307, they did an article called Reel vs. Real by Russ Cooper and Sam Viviano
That issue was a special issue for the Iraqi troops so the spoof wasn't on the cover. Since the war wasn't happening in Australia, they were able to put it on the cover of their edition.
DANCES WITH COYOTES
Cracked #263, July 1991
a: Frank Borth
Cracked did their one-page parody with the usual misogynist joke ending.
