DEGENERATE HOSPITAL

GENERAL HOSPITAL
ABC 1963-present

DEGENERATE HOSPITAL
MAD #230, April 1982
w: Lou Silverstone
a: Mort Drucker

Long running daytime soap opera that was long considered just that until the late 70s and early 80s when they started adding action-adventure-spy storylines. The introduction of Luke Spencer (Anthony Geary) and Laura Webber (Genie Francis) put it at its peak in the early 80s, when they were just as big as the most popular prime-time shows, and their wedding, featuring an appearance by Elizabeth Taylor as Helena Cassidine, matriarch of the evil family that bought the hospital, put the program's ratings at an all-time high. Laura's mother (Denise Alexander) was a doctor at the hospital and Luke's sister Bobbie (Jacklyn Zeman) also worked there as a nurse. Joe Kelly (Doug Sheehan) was a private detective turned lawyer. Dr. Hardy (Bradley Green) was a doctor that worked there.

In this parody, Marcus Welby, M. D. (Robert Young) has been sent to investigate the program.

   -Rick Webber (Chris Robinson) was Laura's step-father
   -"Do you know where your son/daughter is?" was a PSA they would run on the hour late at night on every television station in the 70s and 80s.
   -Robert Scorpio (Tristan Rogers) was one of the characters they added when they added espionage plotlines to the show.

Another doctor at this time was Monica Quartermaine (Leslie Charleson). The police captain of the town was Capt. Ramsey (Bob Hastings). Richard Simmons, TV fitness spokesperson, appears out of nowhere.

From When All of TV Must Grant Equal Time by Tom Koch and Angelo Torres in MAD #158, April 1973.

From The Effect of the Energy Crisis on the Entertainment World in Cracked #119, September 1974

AS THE GENERAL, YOUNG, AND RESTLESS HOSPITAL TURNS
Cracked #137, November 1976
a: Bill Ward

Now a parody of it in name only combined with As the World Turns and The Young and the Restless, parodying the genre of 70s daytime soaps as a whole, with Bill Ward using his talents as a pin-up artist.

Don Martin piece from Cracked #287, January 1994.

DAYTIME TELEVISION

DAYTIME TELEVISION
Crazy #5, July 1974
w: Marv Wolfman
a: Dick Wright

Let us take a trip to before the invention of cable television, when there were only three channels (plus some places with additional syndicated ones, usually on UHF). Actually, daytime terrestrial television fifty years ago wasn't entirely different than it is now.

Dinah Shore had been a singer who in the seventies had a daytime talk show.
Spiro Agnew was Vice President until 1973 and implicated in the Watergate scandal. The other people he mentions were others involved. "Impudent snobs" was from one of the speeches he gave looking down on what his base considered the elite.

Dr. Joyce Brothers had a show called Living Easy with Dr. Joyce Brothers.
The original host of Jeopardy was Art Fleming.

The original host of Hollywood Squares was Peter Marshall. The panelists on this version are Wally Cox, Karen Valentine, Jan Murray, John Davidson, Paul Lynde, Rose Marie, Charley Weaver, Vincent Price, and Charlie Tuna. The latter was an animated spokesperson in commercials for Star-Kist Tuna.

Reruns of I Love Lucy were prevalent on daytime TV. Walter Cronkite was on in the evening. The panelists on What's My Line? are Arlene Francis, Henry Kissinger, Telly Savalas as Theo Kojak, and Dick Van Dyke.

As a bonus, we get to see what the Marvel Bullpen looked like around then.

Let's Make a Deal, hosted by Monty Hall, was known for audience members trying to outdo each other with the most outlandish costumes in the hopes of attracting enough attention to be picked to be a contestant.

Bob Eubanks hosted The Newlywed Game to see how much married couples knew about each other. Most notorious for a wife once being asked where she and her husband wife make whoopee and her responding "in the ass".

There used to be couple dozen or so daytime soaps simultaneously running, now I think there are only four. General Hospital is one of them.

Mike Douglas was another entertainer who eventually became a talk show host back when talk shows were the twilight of a full career and the domain of daytime television.