A-Z GUIDE TO MOVIES AND TV SHOWS PARODIED BY MAD, CRACKED, CRAZY, ETC. UP TO 1996. THEY HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS. SPOILERS AND OTHER NON-SEQUITURS, TOO. SOMETIMES THESE THINGS HAVE WORDS OR SITUATIONS WE DON'T USE ANYMORE. YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE THEY'RE OLD.
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THE TOWERING STERNO
MAD #177, November 1975
w: Dick DeBartolo
a: Mort Drucker
Before the science-fiction genre inspired by Star Wars, then the action movie, then the now-popular superhero genre, the disaster movie was the big-budget all-star summer movie release, soap operas with disaster backdrops. There was the Airport franchise about jet planes malfunctioning, The Poseidon Adventure about a cruise ship malfunctioning, Earthquake. The Towering Inferno was about the world's biggest skyscraper catching fire.
Doug Roberts (Paul Newman) has designed the Glass Tower in San Francisco, and James Duncan (William Holden) is the developer of the building. The Glass Tower is 138 stories tall, part office, and part residential. Harlee Claiborne (Fred Astaire) has arrived, we soon find out he lives there and is some kind of con artist, and there is a premiere party for the building. At the central security office headed by Harry Jernigan (O. J. Simpson), they notice there may be smoke in one of the rooms from faulty wiring. Doug returns to work where his girlfriend Susan (Faye Dunaway) is waiting for him.
James Duncan had his son-in-law, Roger Simmons (Richard Chamberlain) do the electrical engineering, and cut corners that led to the faulty wiring. Everybody's getting ready for the premiere party, including the building's P.R. person Dan Bigelow (Robert Wagner).
Michael O'Halloran (Steve McQueen) is called to put out the little fire while the party is going on above them. Senator Parker (Robert Vaughn) is one of the guests at the party. Duncan is angry at his son-in-law for wiring the building cheaply while Dan Bigelow is having an affair with his secretary Lorrie (Susan Flannery). Dan and Lorrie try to leave his office but can't now that the fire has started raging.
The party has been moved down below so that the fire can be controlled, though the attendees are unaware of its magnitude. Lisolette Mueller (Jennifer Jones) was being wooed by Harlee Claiborne (those scenes aren't used here) and while escaping has to help move out some of the residents, including some children. Doug, having designed the building, knows ways to get out and with Lisolette gets the children through stairwells and elevator shafts. In the movie. Phillip (Mike Lookinland) is awakened while wearing headphones, in this parody, he keeps them on the whole time.
While plans are being made to rescue all the building attendees, Roger tells his wife Patty (Susan Blakely) he's escaping on his own, but finds he can't. Harlee and Lisolette are reuinited and he admits he was being nice to her all along to con her, but she sees that he's an honest man deep inside and doesn't care about all that now.
Everybody is being saved gradually by rappelling on a chair attached to a cable which is attached to a helicopter. It's women and children first, the first twelve through a lottery, and of course there are casualties. (In another scene from the movie not used in this, Roger pushes everyone out of the way and hangs on to the makeshift escape device, then plummets to his death. I can imagine when this played in a theater the crowd all cheered.)
Charlton Heston from Airport '75, which came out roughly around the same time, appears in the next to last panel.
Everyone still trapped in the building is saved from the sprinklers all being turned on and dousing the water out. Henry saved Harlee's cat from his apartment. After everybody's been evacuated, Michael warns Doug about the dangers of building more tall buildings.
Cover for German edition of MAD.
From New Musicals Based on Big Movies in #182, April 1976, by Frank Jacobs, also drawn by Drucker.
Ava Gardner isn't drawn here, but Gloria Swanson, who played herself in Airport '75, is, as well as Karen Black, and George Kennedy, who was the only person in all four Airport movies.
THE TOWERING INFERNAL
Cracked #126, August 1975
a: John Severin
Nitpicking, but Paul Newman and O. J. Simpson worked for the building and weren't fireman, so this cover shows how well people knew about a movie in advance back in pre-internet times.
Charlton Heston also makes an appearance in this parody, the “monkey” quote a reference to Planet of the Apes.
From Cracked #137, November 1976. art by Sururi Gumen
Tune in tomorrow for versions from Crazy and Sick.
WHAT'S ENTERTAINMENT?
MAD #175, June 1975
w: Frank Jacobs
a: Mort Drucker
Made to celebrate the 50th anniversary of MGM with “best of”cclips from their heyday and the people who starred in them introducing them. It begins with a clip from Singin' in the Rain. Phil Silvers and Red Skelton weren't known for MGM musical so I'm not sure why they're here, except that they're part of old Hollywood.
The first panel is from Show Boat with caricatures of Howard Keel. Kathryn Grayson, Ava Gardner, and Joe E. Brown. In the middle are Clark Gable, Jimmy Durante, Myrna Loy and William Powell of the Thin Man movies, Judy Garland and Mickey Rooney of the Andy Hardy movies, and Joan Crawford. The poodle reference was to Thin Man's Asta.
They don't mention that Judy Garland was fed diet pills by MGM, which led to her overdosing in her forties. Sinatra was a teen idol before disappearing for a few years and coming back bigger with alleged mob connections.
In the middle panel is Peter Lawford and June Allyson in Good News.
MAD #171, December 1974
w: Arnie Kogen
a: Mort Drucker
Agnew had been out of office long by then and wasn't associated with Watergate, but just as corrupt as Nixon if not more so. This issue would have hit newsstands in September or October right after Nixon resigned, though they would have thought he'd still be President when this cover was made. History has shown they're nothing by comparison to later administrations though.
Robert Redford and Paul Newman were found to be a great duo (i.e. big box office0 with Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid so they were teamed up a second time with the same director in a film about two con men during the Depression.
It begins with Johnny Hooker (Robert Redford) and his partner Luther Coleman (Robert Earl Jones) pulling a grift on an unsuspecting stranger.
A building in the background says “Scott Joplin and Marvin Hamlisch”. The latter arranged the former's music for this.
Luther pretends to be stabbed and tells the stranger he has to drop off $5000 for a gangster and has a deadline. Johnny pretends to be another approaching stranger. Luther asks if one of them can drop the $5000 off in time and the other can stay for help. The mark offers to finish the delivery and they know full well he'll just flee with the $5000 instead of actually making the delivery. Johnny tells the mark he won't be mugged if he just stuffs the envelope down his pants and puts it in an envelope with his own money, showing the mark how to do it. When Johnny does it, he switches the envelopes. The mark leaves, believing he's rich, and finds he has an envelope full of torn up newspapers. Johnny and Luther now have the guy's money. See how it's done? You or someone you know probably fell for a scam like this.
Luther tells Johnny he's getting out of the con business and should look go to Chicago and look up Henry Gondoroff (Paul Newman). Johnny has a hot date that gets angry he blows his fortune, but he doesn't care, he always gets more money. The guy who was scammed isn't happy though. Turns out he works for Doyle Lonnegan (Robert Shaw), the worst crime boss in Illinois.
Johnny is being chased by Lt. Snyder (Charles Durning) a corrupt cop who's aware of Johnny's scams and demands kickbacks for them. Johnny comes home to find Luther has been killed by Lonnegan's men and moves to Chicago to track down Henry, who he finds running a carousel in front of a brothel run by Billie (Eileen Brennan).
Henry is on the lam from the FBI and a bit of a has-been (as was Paul Newman). Johnny wants to learn “The Big Con” and pull it on Doyle Lonnegan in retaliation for Luther's murder. First, Henry and his men find out everything they know about him and set up a fake betting parlor. Lt. Snyder comes looking for Johnny.
Next step is winning a game against Mr. Lonnegan on a train ride where he's playing poker. Henry Gondoroff, pretending to be a gambler named Shaw, cheats him out of his money pretending to be really drunk and switching cards, knowing what kind of deck is being used.
Johnny Hooker, posing as an employee of “Shaw” to collect the winnings named Kelly. He approaches Mr. Donnegan telling him that “Shaw” had been cheating. “Kelly” knows how corrupt “Shaw” is and wants to take over the operation, but needs Lonnegan's help at their “betting parlor”.
At the fake betting parlor, J.J. (Ray Walston) is in the back room pretending to be a radio announcer for the horse races but is actually getting the results telegraphed to him. There is a big elaborate scam they need to convince Doyle is not one. Meanwhile, Johnny is running away from Snyder, still shaking him down, and ducks into a drugstore. Snyder catches up to Johnny. He and FBI agent Polk (Dana Elcar) know his association with Henry, and try to use Johnny to take him down.
”Sadie Mafoosky” is Katie Morosky, Barbara Streisand's character in The Way We Were, another hit of Redford's that year.
Johnny starts dating Loretta (Dimitra Arliss), a waitress at a diner, who it turns out is an assassin for Lonegan. He's rescued in time by an assistant to Gondoroff. Now at the fake betting parlor, Lonnegan places a bet, then gets upset he did it wrong. The FBI comes to arrest Gondoroff, and there's a shootout, and it's difficult to explain how this all happens, but what it all amounts to is Gondoroff and Hooker pretend to be shot and gett up when everybody leaves. Maybe this video clip describes this convoluted scenario better.
They wouldn't know who Nixon and Agnew were in England so they just went with a regular cover.
THE STINGER
Cracked # 110, August 1974
a: A. Shamed (John Severin)
The title cards are done in the tradition of painted Saturday Evening Post covers, so here it makes sense they would parody Norman Rockwell's “Self Portrait”, which is probably their best-known one.
ROSEMIA'S BOO-BOO
MAD #124, January 1969
w: Arnie Kogen
a: Mort Drucker
Rosemary Woodhouse (Mia Farrow) and her husband Guy (John Cassavetes) move into the Branford Apartments in New York City. Their friend Hutch (Mauice Evans) warns them that their witchcraft, led by Adrian Mercato, was practiced in their apartment years ago. Later, when Rosemary is doing her laundry, she meets a neighbor Terry (Angela Dorian), who the Woodhouses later found out has committed suicide from jumping out the window, wearing a necklace made from tannis root that neighbors, the Castavets, had given her.
Rosemary and Guy befriend Minnie and Roman Castavet (Ruth Gordon, Sidney Blackmer), who seem overly kind to them, as do the other neighbors, including Laura-Louise (Patsy Kelly). Rosemary is given the same tannis necklace Terry had been given.
Panels are full of devil and hell jokes. “Satan Place” is a reference to Peyton Place, a TV show Farrow had previously appeared on.
The chocolate mousse the Castavets have made for the Woodhouses has a weird aftertaste for Rosemary and gives her a weird hallicunatory dream. The couple had talked about conceiving and Guy turns out to have done the deed while she was sleeping. (We all know about Roman Polanski's dubious morals. I know that's putting it lightly, but I've been misconstrued in the past for saying more.)
The Frank Sinatra reference is about how Mia Farrow was married to her at the time, and he apparently controlled her on the set. They're featured prominently on the cover of the Drucker-drawn The New First Family below this article.
When Rosemary becomes pregnant and they give the news to their neighbors, the Castavets suggest they fire their obstetrician, Dr. Hall, and instead go to Dr. Sapirstein (Ralph Bellamy). He's unorthodox for a doctor, not prescribing typical medications and asking her to ignore reading the usual texts, instead recommending his own potions. The potions emaciate her and cause her unbearable pain. Hutch has ideas about what's going on.
Hutch died before being able to meet Rosemary, but willed her a book about witchcraft that contains clues. One of the clues is an anagram, which she figures out with Scrabble tiles. Ahe finds a name in the book, Steve Mercato, is an anagram of 'Roman Castavet'. Steve is the son of Adrian Mercato, and putting two and two together, she figures out there is a conspiracy by everyone to take her baby. Guy forbids her to read the book and she suspects him to be on it too. She convinces Dr. Hill (Charles Grodin) to rescue her, he thinks she is delusional.
Rosemary blanks out and wakes up to find she has given birth. The baby is in the room next door and all of the neighbors are surrounding it. The baby is Satan.
I'm not sure what the Sessue Hayakawa reference is except that one of the neighbors is Asian. It may be a racist caricature and joke but the movie went there first with the stereotype of Japanese people always having cameras.
I've never heard this album so I'm not sure if it's a sequel to The First Family, a comedy album from a few years earlier about the Kennedys that you can find for $1 at any thrift store. It may or may not have people doing impressions of Louis Armstrong, Marlon Brando, Gregory Peck, Dean Martin, Ed Sullivan, Jack Benny, Richard Burton, Liz Taylor, Sammy Davis Jr, Joey Bishop, Kirk Douglas, Robert Stack, Cary Grant, Boris Karloff, LBJ, Richard Nixon, Barry Goldwater, Hubert Humphrey, or RFK Jr.'s father. Or maybe it's actually them.
