GOOSE OR BARE

TRUTH OR DARE (1991)
dir: Alex Keshishian

Documentary about Madonna on her Blond Ambition tour

Yes, at one time even Alfred E. Neuman committed sexual assault.

From Video Reviews in #310, April 1992, by Stan Hart and Sam Viviano

Madonna was linked to Warren Beatty, friends with Sandra Bernhart, and married to Sean Penn for several years.

NATIONAL LIMPOON'S GROUND HOG DAY VACATION

NATIONAL LAMPOON'S VACATION (1983)
dir: Harold Ramis

NATIONAL LIMPOON'S GROUNDHOG DAY VACATION
Cracked Summer Special #1, Summer 1991
w: Lou Silverstone
a: Walter Brogan

In National Lampoon's later years, they did a series of Vacation movies based on a short story in the magazine. The movies centered on Clark (Chevy Chase) and Ellen (Beverly D'Angelo) Griswold and their children Rusty and Audrey, who were played by different actors each time. Rusty looks like he's probably Macaulay Culkin here, Audrey might be Alison Porter, who played Curly Sue, another John Hughes character.

Cousin Eddie (Randy Quaid) was another recurring character.

BORED TOGETHER NOW

ALL TOGETHER NOW
1991-1993 Nine Network

Australian MAD #307, December 1991
w & a: Steve Lopes

I asked for scans of British and Australian parodies if anyone has then, and got them in spades. So in addition to the month long break that wasn't my fault, it'll be another month to get to the posts I had planned. To you it only means pages by faves like Mort Drucker and John Severin will have to wait a while. But I'm not complaining. One good thing about foreign shows is that YouTube allows them to be shown in this country in their entirety so I'll know what's going on.

All Together Now was a sitcom about a has-been rock star who found out he had two kids and has to take care of them while trying to revive his career. The cast was Thomas Sumner (Steven Jacobs), Bobby Rivers (Jon English), Anna (Jane Hall), Tracy (Rebecca Gibney), Wayne (Bruno Lucia), and Dougy (Garry Who).

The punchline is a commentary about how in Australia pop stars are aften regulars on soaps like Kylie Minogue on Neighbours, Melissa Tkautz, and Craig McLachlan with his hit “Hey, Mona”.

INTERMINABLE 2: MISJUDGMENT DAY

TERMINATOR 2: JUDGMENT DAY (1991)
dir: James Cameron

Joke about how one man's videotape was used as evidence in the Rodney King police brutality case. Thirty years later any event like that would be captured by every single passerby on their phone.

Sequel to the 1984 film which was about a cyborg (Arnold Schwarzenegger) sent back in time by Skynet to kill Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton) before her son is born. Her son saves mankind from nuclear war that Skynet is responsible for. It would be easier to go back in time and cockblock the future son's parents, and it would be a more entertaining movie. Maybe I should go back in time to have that one made. Long story short, the Terminator fails to kill her.

In this next movie, a different model of the same cyborg is sent to the past to protect Sarah's son John (Edward Furlong) while T-1000 (Robert Patrick), a newer shape-shifting cyborg model made of liquid, is sent by Skynet to kill him. Miles Dyson (Joe Morton) is a computer scientist developing a chip that will eventually lead to desecration of the earth. The Machine Warriors aren't in the movie.

The Terminator appears in the present (1991) naked and his first order of business is to find someone his size, take their clothes and motorcycle, then find John befotr T-1000 gets a hold of him. T-1000 also appears naked and takes a police car and uniform, and comes after them in a truck. Sarah has been institutionalized since the last movie, all her claims of terminators and future nuclear war are considered delusional.

Twins was a comedy Schwarzenegger was in around the same time (and the parody will be posted next month). He makes references to his movies all throughout, and all have been or will be parodied and posted here.

Sarah escapes from the institution by holding her doctor hostage while at the same time John and Terminator bust her out, which she says she could have done on her own. John teaches him not to solve problems by killing and to act more human. Sarah is determined to kill Miles Dyson.

Grey Poupon mustard had a campaign where a driver of a car passed another driver, asking them if they had any Grey Poupon. Someone conceived that and someone approved it and it was in commercials for a while. Different time.

Miles Dyson, now knowing that his project will be used for evil, is determined to help with the resistance now. He's able to get past security where he's working to let them destroy all that he's been developing. John is able to break through locks by cracking codes using a machine he used earlier to rob ATMs. As they're destroying the corporate headquarters, the cops are moving in on them, and Terminator is able to shoot all their vehicles while leaving no human casualties. Meanwhile, T-1000 is chasing after them into a steel smelting plant, and Terminator manages to shoot him, making him fall into a vat of molten steel, destroying it. Now they throw Dyson's creations into it, and with his job done, the Terminator requests to be thrown in as well.

Cover for Mexican edition.

And the German one as well.

GERMINATOR 2: JUDGMENT DAZE
Cracked #266, December 1991
w: Tony Frank (Lou Silverstone)
a: Walter Brogan

TEEN RAGE MOOLAH NITWIT TURTLES II: THE SECRET IS TO SNOOZE

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES II: SECRET OF THE OOZE (1991)
dir: Michael Pressman

MAD #306, October 1991
w: Dick DeBartolo
a: Mort Drucker

Keno (Ernie Reyes Jr.) is delivering pizzas and encounters a burglary and decides to fight the robbers with his advanced martial arts knowledge. He gets in over his head and is stopped by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Raphael, Donatello, Michaelangelo, and Leonardo. The robbers are part of the Foot Clan, led by Shredder (Francois Chau), who has been dormant in a garbage dump after being presumed dead in the first movie, and Tatsu (Toshishiro Obata), his sidekick.

The Turtles and their master Splinter are living with reporter April O'Neil (Paige Turco, a different actress than before) while looking for a new apartment. Splinter wants them to keep practicing the ninja art of invisibity, and to return to the sewers where they belong.

Vanilla Ice, who only appears at the end of the movie, narrated this parody.

Shredder wakes up from the dump where he was left off, April is covering Techno Global Research Industries, which has pledged to clean up pullution there. She interviews Professor Jordan Perry (David Warner) about a toxic waste leak at that dump which has grown large plants there. Jordan has isolated a sample of that waste which happens to be the Ooze from which the TMNT originated. Now Shredder wants it and the Foot Clan are fighting to get it.

Perry was kidnapped and brought to Shredder's hideout and forced to use the Ooze on a snapping turtle and wolf, which creates Tokka and Rahzar.

CRACKED INTERVIEWS TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURDLES
Cracked #263, July 1991
w: Lou Silverstone
a: Gary Fields

THE TOONAGE MUTANT NINJA TURDLES II: THE SECRETION OF THE OOZE
Cracked #265, September 1991
w: Vic Bianco (Lou Silverstone)
a: John Severin

Los Angeles was considered the epitome of police brutality long before ACAB.

Col. Oliver North, when he was on trial, was revealed to have shredded secret documents.

SEPTEMBER UPDATES

In MAD's parody of The Music Man that I posted a few months ago, I went off on a tangent about how humor magazines parodied this hippie phenomenon, portraying them as a bunch of dirty kids who have sex all the time and do drugs and never take baths. Sick especially used them as a go-to target. I said then that it would be impossible for me to find every use of comedians not getting the counterculture, but I should put up more pages from issues of Sick.

The issue I had with 101 Hippie Jokes was missing a back cover, now that I've seen it, it continues the jokes from the inside.

Here's more hippie material from issue #58, February 1968.

Hippies made up the rumor about smoking bananas themselves. There's a part of Steal This Book that helped spread the hoax, saying the insides of bananas had hallucinatory properties. Donavan's Mellow Yellow was said to be about smoking bananas.

I've said Fred Wolfe is Paul Laikin. I believe this to be true because Paul Laikin has edited practically every MAD imitation in existence and used the same material in different magazines. Some of the recycled material has had both bylines.

Speaking of hippies, in 1991 there was a movie of The Doors directed by Oliver Stone, starring Val Kilmer as Jim Morrison. Cracked didn't do a parody of it, but did a poem about it in #263, September 1991.