A-Z GUIDE TO MOVIES AND TV SHOWS PARODIED BY MAD, CRACKED, CRAZY, ETC. UP TO 1996. THEY HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS. SPOILERS AND OTHER NON-SEQUITURS, TOO. SOMETIMES THESE THINGS HAVE WORDS OR SITUATIONS WE DON'T USE ANYMORE. YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE THEY'RE OLD.
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TIME BOO-BOOS
Crazy #86, May 1982
w: Paul Kupperberg
a: Bob Camp
Although all six (now four) of the Monty Python troupe haven't done any new material together since the eighties, at least one of them has usually contributed to the others' solo projects. Michael Palin co-wrote the screenplay and appears occasionally with Shelley Duvall as a constantly cockblocked couple throughout different eras of time.
The story is about a boy, Kevin (Craig Warnock), who is awakened by a group of little people who have stolen a map from the Supreme Being (Ralph Richardson) and use it to travel through history and steal objects, escaping through time holes. As we'll see, it's similar in structure to Wizard of Oz.
Randall (David Rappoport), along with Fidgit (Kenny Baker), Strutter (Malcolm Dixon), Og (Mike Edmonds), Wally (Jack Purvis), and Vermin (Tiny Ross), allow Kevin to join them with his superior intelligence and knowledge of history. They find themselves in the time of Napoleon (Ian Holm).
They distract Napoleon by performing a talent show for him while others loot his quarters, jump through time again and are discovered by Robin Hood's merry men.
Kevin and the Time Bandits are being watched by Evil (David Warner) and who wants their map and vows with the help of his minions to lure them into his lair.
Robin Hood (John Cleese) takes their loot to give to the poor. As they travel through time to acquire more loot they continue to be chased by the Supreme Being they took the map from.
Crazy omits a few major scenes. One where Kevin splits with them and ends up in the time of King Agamemnon (Sean Connery) and becomes heir to the throne in Greece, but the thieves find him and bring him back with them. They end up on the Titanic, drown, and are saved by a pirate ship run by a cannibalistic ogre and his wife, whom they throw overboard, and the ship turns out to be the hat of a giant in a scene used on the cover. Jumping to the end, the whole movie was a dream that Kevin wakes up to as his has burns down, and is saved by a fireman who's also Sean Connery. (Another Wizard of Oz parallel.)
Evil captures them in a cage and they escape, going through time and coming back with armies from different eras and attempt to defeat him, and are saved at the last minute by the Supreme Being, who takes human form and tells him he knew they stole the map and let theme take it as a test.
SUPERDUPERMAN II
MAD #226, October 1981
w: Frank Jacobs
a: Mort Drucker
The first few minutes feature a condensed version of the first movie, except that Marlon Brando was in the first one as Jor-El. Kal-El's father. General Zod (Terence Stamp), Ursa (Sarah Douglas), and Non (Jack O;Halloran) are found guilty on the planet Krypton for treason and sentenced to the Phantom Zone, a pane of glass that floats into space. Krypton is about to explode so Jor-el's wife Lara (Susanna York) sends her only son Kal-El to Earth. Kal-El lands and is discovered by the Kents, who raise him as their own child, Clark. When Pa Kent Dies, Clark (Christopher Reeve) seeks life in the city of Metropolis as a newspaper reporter at the Daily Planet. As Superman, Clark has a “will they or won't they” relationship with co-worker Lois Lane (Margot Kidder), and brings his arch enemy Lex Luthor (Gene Hackman) to justice. *Whew!*
George Reeves was the actor who played Superman in the TV series a few decades earlier.
Clark Kent hears from his boss Perry White (Jackie Cooper) that Lois Lane is doing a report at the Eiffel tower, and has just found out it has a bomb planted inside it. Lois tries to investigate it for an inside scoop she hopes will make her famous, but it puts her in danger and is saved in time by Superman. The bomb is in the elevator, which Superman throws up into space, and it hits the Phantom Zone, breaking it and freeing Zod, Ursa, and Non.
$4.00 for a cup of coffee sounds about right but would have worked as a joke in 1981.
Clark and Lois are on assignment in Niagara Falls and pose as a married couple while they stay at a sleazy hotel. They go sightseeing and Clark leaves so that he can turn into Superman and save a falling child. Lois figures out Clark Kent and Superman are the same person, confronting him with it, which he denies. Lex Luthor has escaped from jail and with his girlfriend Eve Teschmacher (Valerie Perrine) go to the North Pole to go to Superman's Fortress of Solitude, which contains all knowledge of Earth.
Zod, with his crew have invaded the town of East Houston, Idaho, demanding to know the leaders of Earth. The army tries to stop them but can't.
They wreak havoc on Earth and find out from the army the President (E.G.Marshall) is commander-in-chief of the military and therefore the one they need to meet.
Clark Kent finally admits to Lois Lane that he and Superman are the same person. He brings her to the Fortress of Solitude and tells his the ghost of his mother they are in love. She tells him the only way they can consummate their relationship is if he gives up his superpowers and becomes a mortal, which he does. The happy couple travels back home, and stops along at a diner, where they get hassled by one of the locals.
Clark is beaten up by a redneck for wanting his seat back, then he and Lois see on the TV that the President needs Superman's help to stop Zod, Ursa, and Non from taking over the world. Clark now regrets his decision and has to go back to the Fortress of Solitude and become Superman again. Zod and his crew wreck the White House, and afterwards Lex Luthor comes in and tells them he'll make a deal with them—he'll tell them all they need to know about Superman, who is really Kal-El, son of Jor-El, who sentenced them to the Phantom Zone, in exchange for ownership of Australia.
Aside: In the movie, the people at the diner turn off the TV when the President is done speaking. You ever notice that in a movie or TV show that whenever there's an emergency report on TV, someone turns off the TV immediately after it's over? Why is that?
Zod, Ursa, and Non look for Superman at the Daily Planet. He shows up and has a big fight with them on that block in Metropolis.
NYC mayor Ed Koch makes an appearance in the parody.
Zod, Ursa, and Non chase Superman to his Fortress of Solitude with Lex in tow. Superman tricks them into entering the molecular chamber, which makes them into mortals. Lex thinks it was his idea and wants credit for it, but Superman isn't having it. Later on, Lois tells Clark she's upset they can't be together now that he's changed back, he kisses her, making her forget everything that ever happened between them.
Here was the back cover for that same issue.
The South American edition.
The German one.
The Portuguese edition. Did they reprint the Kurtzman/Wood Flash Gordon parody or do a new one?
WHAT CHRISTOPHER REEVE WILL BE LIKE WHEN HE GETS OLD
Cracked #183, December 1981
a: Samuel Whitehead
Unfortunately, we know what happened to Christopher Reeve when he got old.
cover for Kaputt, the German version of Cracked.
SOOPERMAN, TOO!
Crazy #81, December 1981
w: Paul Kupperberg
a: Bob Camp
There's Teen-Hulk on the cover. They were doing all these different versions so they could have the trademark.
Zod, Ursa, and, Non wreaked havoc on the Moon before they came to Earth.
STAR TREK II: THE WRATH OF KHAN (1982)
dir: Nicholas Meyer
MAD #236, December 1982
w: Dick DeBartolo
a: Mort Drucker
Aboard the U.S.S. Enterprise, Lt. Saavik (Kirstie Alley) is half-Vulcan and undergoing her training under the tutelage of Spock (Leonard Nimoy). “Bones” McCoy (DeForest Kelley), Lt. Uhura (Nichelle Nichols), Scotty (James Doohan), and Capt. Sulu (George Takei) are part of the crew.
Chekhov (Walter Koenig) is commander of the starship Reliant, run by Capt. Terrell (Paul Winfield). Their assignment is to explore dead planets to try and find habitable environments for the Genesis Device, a project that will bring life to the planets. As they are exploring Ceti Alpha VI, they find it contains the remains of Botany Bay, and try to flee immediately because they realize it's occupied by Khan (Ricardo Montalban), who was thought to be killed by Kirk, and now seeks his revenge. He starts by implanting a bug in the bodies of Chekhov and Terrell's ears that makes them susceptible to mind control.
Back at the Enterprise, Bones is helping Admiral James Kirk (William Shatner) celebrate his birthday. He comes back to the Enterprise. Meanwhile at the Reliant, Chekhov prematurely tells the boss of Regula One, Carol Marcus (Bibi Besch), that he has gathered all the information he needs for the Genesis project and will be returning. She does not believe this, he wasn't supposed to come back for another three months, and she needs to check with Adm. Kirk before she can do that. She doesn't know he's being held hostage and Khan has taken over the Reliant. Ms. Marcus tries to consult with Kirk but can't communicate with him.
Kirk takes back command because he doesn't think the crew can handle being shot at. He sees Khan has taken over the Reliant and they are able to override it.
The Enterprise crew beam down and Chekhov and Terrell attempt to kill them and Bones discovers the bug in their ears that is making them do it. Marcus shows them what Genesis is doing.
They all have difficulty getting back up since the Enterprise doesn't have enough power from defeating Khan. Spock, in fixing the Enterprise's reactor, ends up electrocuting himself and a funeral is given for him where he's shot into space.
The second panel has David Marcus (Merritt Butrick), Carol Marcus' son. He's used in the film a lot and starts with an anti-establishment attitude but comes to terms with Starfleet after finding out Jim is his father. A supblot in the movie not used in the parody is that Carol and Jim were lovers in the past. I know many of you Trekkies don't know how babies are made so just go with it.
Spoiler: Spock comes back in the sequel, which we'll look at tomorrow.
Don Martin did takes on the movies that were parodied in that issue.
Here was the cover for the German edition.
And the British version illustrated by Harry North, who was the only artist I know of who drew for both the American edition and a foreign edition.
STAR BLECCH II: THE WRATH OF THE CONNED
Crazy #92, December 1982
w: Paul Kupperberg
a: Bob Camp
Ricardo Montalban had been Mr. Roarke on Fantasy Island. The little person accompanying him was the sidekick on that show.
SNOOKEY AND THE BANDAID II
Crazy #72, March 1981
w: Marc Bilgrey
a: Bob Camp
Sequel to movie from three years earlier of Bo “Bandit” Barville (Burt Reynolds) as a trucker reunited with ex-girlfiend Carrie (Sally Field) outrunning Sherriff Buford T. Justice (Jackie Gleason) as they cross state lines. In the second installment its about bringing an elephant to a GOP convention rather than transporting booze.
This parody concentrates on the trailers that would have been shown.
Little did they know there would be a Groundhog Day (albeit not a slasher film) in twelve years.
