YOUNG DR. BALONEY

YOUNG DOCTOR MALONE
Blue Network 1940-1960
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YOUNG DOCTOR BALONEY
Eh! #1, December 1953
a: Dick Ayers

Loosely based on daytime radio program starring Alan Bunce, later made into a TV series

WHAT'S MY SHINE?

WHAT'S MY LINE?
CBS 1950-1967

WHAT'S MY SHINE?
MAD #17, November 1954
w: Harvey Kurtzman
a: Jack Davis

Quick history lessons (groan!): Those old enough to remember fifties nostalgia (nostalgia for it, not the fifties themselves) think it was all Grease and Happy Days or Back to the Future. Those I've talked to that lived through the actual fifties remember it slightly differently, always in fear of being bombed at any moment, no diversity or conformity, and particularly the red scare.

White nationalists making up the majority of the Republican party may be bad, but it's not much worse than before. We've always had zealous bigots and disengenuous patriots in congress. What we didn't have is opinions influenced by 24-hour partisan news channels. The Trump of his time was Senator Joseph McCarthy, a demagogue of the sort previously mentioned, able to get away with his reign only because we didn't have fact-checking in real time. Hollywood and the Blacklist has been chronicled in many places, but the subcommittee also had its sites on accusing Communists (Reds) of infiltrating the military as well. There was also nothing like C-Span, there were just the three networks, so the Army-McCarthy hearings pre-empted regularly scheduled programming.

This MAD article was the first of many pre-cable articles to satirize talking heads using the premise that things like this should compete with the rest of TV to make it more exciting. In this case, What's My Line?, where the premise was that three or four blindfolded panelists asked questions to a guest about his or her occupation and were awarded points for correct answers. Here instead of host John Daly, it is moderated by Army-McCarthy special counsel Ray Jenkins.

The Subcommittee included Everett Dirksen (R-IL), Henry Dworshak (R-ID), Charles Potter (R-MI), John McClellan (D-AR), Stuart Symington (D-MI), Henry “Scoop” Jackson (D-WA), and Joseph McCarthy (R-WI).

Robert Stevens was an Army Secretary that was a witness in the hearings and a photograph of him submitted by McCarthy was found to be doctored. Karl Mundt was chairman of the subcommittee.

McCarthy's lawyer was Roy Cohn is caricatured. He was also one of Trump's lawyers a generation later.

Private Schein was also a witness in the hearings. There was no equivalent to Lana Cheesecake in either the hearings or the quiz show, it was just a commentary on the optics of television.

WHAT'S MY CRIME?
Eh! #4, June 1954
a: Dick Ayers

From MAD's TV “Alfie” Awards by Larry Siegel and Mort Drucker in MAD #56, July 1960. The other panelists are Arlene Francis, Bennett Cerf, and Dorothy Kilgallen.

MAD VISITS THE WORLD'S GREATEST TV PANELIST
MAD #62, April 1961
w: Larry Siegel
a: Mort Drucker

The interviewer is Ed Murrow. MAD writer Dick DeBartolo was simultaneously a writer for Goodson-Todman and sometimes used a pen name writing parodies of shows they produced.

WHAT'S MY LINE?
Sick #9, November 1961
artist unknown

WHAT'S MY SALARY?
Sick #21, June 1963
artist unknown

The last panel has Fred Gwynne and Joe E. Ross from Car 54, Where Are You ? for some reason. Probably because they were popular then.

WELCOME BACK, KUTTER

\WELCOME BACK, KOTTER
ABC 1975-1979

Yesterday was a look at MAD and Cracked's take on Welcome Back, Kotter, now we'll see Crazy and Sick's versions...

A CRAZY LOOK AT THOSE KOOKY KOTTER KIDS
Crazy #29, September 1977

WELCOME BACK, KUTTER
Crazy #18, July 1976
w: Len Herman
a: Ernie Colon

This sitcom was a vehicle for stand-up comic Gabe Kaplan, who had a show based on one single routine he did a few months earlier. The premise was that Gabe Kotter (Gabe Kaplan) is now a teacher and has returned to the school where he grew up ten years earlier, and now teaches the gang of juvenile delinquents that he once belonged to known as The Sweathogs. The principal of James Buchanan High School was Mr. Woodman (John Sylvester-White)

The Sweathogs were Vinnie Barbarino (John Travolta), Freddie “Boom-Boom” Washington (Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs), Juan Epstein (Robert Hegyes), and Arnold Horshack (Ron Palillo)

WELCOME BACK, KNOTHEAD
Sick #110, June 1976
a: Dick Ayers

One thing Crazy didn't use was Gabe's at-home life with his wife Julie (Marcia Strassman)

“Up your nose with a rubber hose” was one of their catchphrases. More of their catchphrases and recurring motifs are in the video above.

WELCOME BACK, KRUDDER
Sick #115, June 1977
w:Arnold Drake
a: Jack Sparling

Gabe telling one-liners to his wife at the beginning and end of each episode was another regular theme. Charlie Tuna was the mascot for Star-Kist tuna and their catchphrase was “Star-Kist wants tunas that taste good”

The Sweathogs were always dropping in on Mr. Kotter at home, usually climbing into his window.

As a palatte cleanser, here's a TV Guide cover by Jack Davis.

S.W.E.A.T.

S.W.A.T.
ABC 1975-1976

S.W.E.A.T.
Sick #114, March 1977
w: Len Herman
a: Dick Ayers

Short lived TV series about Los Angeles' S.W.A.T. Team, the police's Special Weapons And Tactics team. The show starred Steve Forrest as the unit's leader, Lt. “Hondo” Harrelson.

Obligatory seventies references abound in this, like a caricature of President Carter in the splash panel, and the Sweathogs from Welcome Back, Kotter in the final panel of this page.

Funny the things you saw when you were a kid that stay etched in your brain. Even when I was seven, it seemed weird that someone's butt would be used for target practice. Not to kink-shame, but it would seem even someone who gets off on the worst pain still wouldn't want darts thrown at their butt. Unless that's a picture of someone's butt, in which case forget everything I just said. So many of the other eyeball kicks here make no sense.

In the middle is what the Fonz would look like without any Italian or Jewish heritage.

Wojo is used here as an excuse for them to make a Polish joke without doing so explicitly.