A-Z GUIDE TO MOVIES AND TV SHOWS PARODIED BY MAD, CRACKED, CRAZY, ETC. UP TO 1996. THEY HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS. SPOILERS AND OTHER NON-SEQUITURS, TOO. SOMETIMES THESE THINGS HAVE WORDS OR SITUATIONS WE DON'T USE ANYMORE. YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE THEY'RE OLD.
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THE TRIAL OF BILLY JERK
Sick #104, June 1975
w: Fred Wolfe (Paul Laikin)
a: Jerry Grandenetti
Jean Roberts (Delores Taylor) is in bed recounting the events that happened. The previous one ended with Billy Jack (Tom Laughlin) being arrested and taken away while students at the Freedom School, an alternartive school on an Indian reservation, stood in solidarity. This film is a flashback to the events leading to his trial.
The prosecuting attorney is made to resemble Jackie Gleason wearing a “Whip Inflation Now” button. Jane Fonda was known for being one of the first allies to Native Americans. “Shuffle Off to Buffalo” was a popular song 90 years ago.
When Billy Jack is released he meets martial arts master Han (Bong Soo-Han) and sides with the Natives in their campaign to get their land back from banker Posner (Riley Hill).
David Carradine was star of the TV series Kung Fu.
THE SIX MILLION DOLLARS, MAN!
MAD #172, March 1975
w: Lou Silverstone
a: Angelo Torres
All children that were alive in the seventies know of The Six Million Dollar Man, how Col. Steve Austin (Lee Majors) got in a bad accident astronauting and was rebuilt by the government as a cyborg, costing six million dollars to make him robotic. His origin is explained in the opening credits.
”Verner Won Ton” is a play on Werner Von Braun, a former scientist for the Nazi party that was brought to the U.S. during our Space Race with Russia. 'Eastworld' is a play on 'Westworld', a movie about a robot amusement park long before it was a TV series. The tennis player is Bobby Riggs, referring to Billy Jean King, who beat him in the well-publicized Battle of the Sexes game.
Steve Austin's supervisor at the Office of Strategic Operations, a CIA stand-in, was Oscar Goldman (Richard Anderson).
WFL was the World Football League. Mark Spitz was the Olympic champion swimmer.
Dr. Balsawood is Martin Balsam, who only co-incidentally was Steve Austin's doctor in the pilot episode.
From MAD's “Whatever Became of”... TV Characters Edition in #266, October 1986, by Mike Snider.
Cracked did several parodies and mash-ups, just as they did of a lot of TV shows and movies. Here are two:
THE SIX BILLION DOLLAR MAN
Cracked #120, October 1974
a: John Severin
Mr.Phelps was the lead character on Mission:Impossible
THE FAR-OUT FOUR
Cracked #123, March 1975
a: Polly Titian (John Severin)
Gerald Ford and VP Nelson Rockefeller have enlisted the aid of Henry Kissinger, Steve Austin, Billy Jack (Tom Laughlin), and Kwai Caine (David Carradine)
Henry Kissinger had a reputation for being a ladies' man.
At one time, politicians actually did their job of getting things done rather than hating the other party. Billie Jean King is called “Billie Joe” here. I'm not sure if that was intentional or just out of ignorance.
But that's not all! Tomorrow a look at even more Cracked takes on The Six Million Dollar Man, including a Star Wars mashup!
THE $6,000,000 MAN-IAC
Crazy #18, July 1976
w: Len Herman
a: Ernie Colon
BILLY JOCK
#168, July 1974
w: Stan Hart
a: Angelo Torres
This begins with Jean (Delores Taylor) narrating the story of Billy Jack (Tom Laughlin), half-American Indian who shows up out of nowhere and is a pacifist unless pushed.
The Senior Posner (Bert Freed) is about to shoot horses for dog meat and pressuring his son Bernard (David Roya) to aid him, until Billy Jack chases them off in defense of the land.
Barbara (Julie Webb), the sheriff's daughter, comes homes and tells him she's pregnant, and he beats her. Billy Jack finds her and gives her shelter in Jean's alternative school.
They don't mention this, but comedy group The Committee played some of the students.
They go into town and the locals don't want them there.
Billy Jack shows up and sees how the locals are picking on the students and fights them. Then he goes outside and has to fight the law.
Meanwhile, at the school Barbara has a crush on Marvin (Stan Rice) and doesn't understand why he rejects her advances.
When Billy Jack is performs an Indian ritual in the desert, Barnyard has his way with one of the students. Billy Jack shows up and instead of fighting him forces him to drive his car into the lake.
When Jean goes skinny-dipping in the lake Bernard shows up and rapes her at gunpoint, to impress his father. After he and his gang kill Marvin, one of the Native American students, Billy Jack becomes enraged. He goes to the home of Bernard while he's in bed with an underage girl and beats him up. (I didn't write the movie.)
(David Carradine was star of the TV series Kung Fu).
Billy Jack has a shootout with the authorities and won't come out until his demands for Indian rights are met.
SILLY JACK
Cracked #116, May 1974
a: John Severin
(Arthur Murray had a chain of dancing schools and for a while a TV show, which I posted a parody of late last year).
(George Wallace, one-time governor of Alabama and failed Presidential candidate, was a staunch segregationist).
BILLY JERK
Crazy #5, July 1974
w: Steve Gerber
a: Robert Graysmith
This was one one-page piece as part of an article parodying several movies. It parodied the courtroom scene that was barely covered in MAD.
“One Tin Soldier” became a popular song. This animated video was made by Fine Arts Films, the company that did the opening titles for Grease
Billy Jack was a spinoff of a biker film The Born Losers. There were three sequels, The Trial of Billy Jack, Billy Jack Goes to Washington, and The Return of Billy Jack.
