A-Z GUIDE TO MOVIES AND TV SHOWS PARODIED BY MAD, CRACKED, CRAZY, ETC. UP TO 1996. THEY HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS. SPOILERS AND OTHER NON-SEQUITURS, TOO. SOMETIMES THESE THINGS HAVE WORDS OR SITUATIONS WE DON'T USE ANYMORE. YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE THEY'RE OLD.
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The Wizard of Oz is one of those things in everyone's DNA that everyone knows the story of, characters, situations, songs, lines, and phrases are part of the international lexicon. I probably haven't even seen it in nearly forty years and would recognize any reference, so would you. Therefore, I need not sum it up.
Oh, all right... In a nutshell, Dorothy (Judy Garland) is bored of her existence on a farm in Kansas, a tornado uproots her home, and she ends up in the land of Oz. Her house has landed on the Wicked Witch of the East, liberating all the citizens of Oz. She wants to get back home, and she's told by the Munchkins there that if she follows the yellow brick road she will meet the wizard (Frank Morgan), who will help her. Along the way, she meets the Tin Man (Jack Haley), Scarecrow (Ray Bolger), and the Cowardly Lion (Bert Lahr) who are seeking a heart, brain, and courage, respectively. They join Dorothy on her quest. The Wicked Witch of the West (Margaret Hamilton), keeps trying to stop them every step of the way. They finally meet the wizard who acts all powerful and Dorothy's dog Toto, who was with Dorothy all along, rips a curtain to reveal the wizard is just a con man. He tells everybody what they've been looking for has been inside them all along. Dorothy repeats the mantra “There's no place like home” and wakes up on her farm. It was all a dream and the characters in her dream were all weird forms of farm hands and neighbors...
There, you happy now?
From Scenes We'd Like to See, back cover of MAD #123, December 1968, by Don Edwing and Jack Rickard.
MAD #128, July 1969
In this version, Auntie Em is Tiny Tim and Dorothy is Liza Minelli, who happened to be the real-life daughter of Judy Garland.
Aah, the old banana hoax. I learned about it from MAD. I don't know if they believed it or were in or it. Basically, while there were all kinds of rumors and conspiracy theories about what hippies did, they created one of their own. They said that you can get high by grinding the inside of the skins into a powder and smoking it. I also don't know if that's what they thought you did or you held a whole unpeeled banana up to your mouth and lit it, then inhaled it, like it was a cigarette or joint.
The main munchkin is Dustin Hoffman while others are Simon & Garfunkel.
Pat Boone is the Scarecrow.
George Hamilton is the Tin Man and Michael J. Pollard is the Cowardly Lion.
Ed Sullivan is the Guru. There's no poppy field barricade to his castle.
MAD #157, March 1973
Here's some variations on the yellow-brick road theme.
The shock one experiences when leaping through time is always funny to me. If I woke up in the world of 2024 having been in a coma since 1994, sure things would be hard to adjust to. So much would be completely different and I'd be surprised by a lot of changes. I might be surprised we have no World Trade Center and things cost twice as much but it's not like I'd be completely lost like characters in movies seem to be. Except maybe if I was left loose in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. But still, I'll run into people I haven't seen since the nineties and we'll talk as if no time has passed. And I still have some of the same clothes and furniture I've had since 2000. And people still bring up a prank I pulled in 1991 as if it still has repercussions (it hardly had any back then).
THE WIZARD OF ODDS
MAD #300, January 1991
w: Frank Jacobs
a: Sam Viviano
The Good Witch is Vanna White. The Wicked Witch of the East is meant to be Leona Helmsley, a New York City real estate mogul. Among the Yupkins are Michael J. Fox, Ted Turner and Jane Fonda (in her Barbarella costume), Meryl Streep, and Sam Viviano. Imelda Marcos was first lady of Phillipines who had hundred of shoes.
The first panel has Reagan's budget director David Stockman and Michael Douglas and Charlie Sheen of Wall Street. In the middle are Richard Gere and Julia Roberts as their characters from Pretty Woman.
The Witch of the South is Tammy Fake Bakker, wife of an indicted televangelist mocked for her excessive make-up. The wizard is a guy named Donald Trump, a millionaire with a big ego who was everywhere in the eighties and nineties. He seems to have disappeared from the public eye and nobody knows where he is now.
Cover to the British edition.
From Cracked's Sequels to Classic Movies, #180, September 1981, art by John Severin.
This article was longer ago now than this movie was then, so suck on that.
There was an updated musical called The Wiz with an all-black cast. It looks like the cover was commisioned far ahead of the interior and afterwards they figured it wasn't big enough for an interior parody.
WITLESS
MAD #257, September 1985
w: Stan Hart
a: Angelo Torres
Rachel (Kelly McGillis) and her son Samuel (Lukas Haas) are two Amish who must leave their community to visit a relative in Baltimore. While at a train stopover in Philadelphia, Samuel witnesses a murder in the bathroom. They are detained by officer John Book (Harrison Ford) who needs Samuel to identify the killer, and sees a picture of Lieutenant McFee (Danny Glover) at the station and recognizes him as the killer.
McFee is a narcotics cop involved in drug dealing and shoots Book in a parking garage. He drives Rachel and Samuel back to their farm, and since he didn't get medical help after being shot, passes out on the way back home and wakes up at the farm. He has to stat there because he'll be found at the hospital and therefore put Samuel in danger.
As John Book is being nursed back to health, he starts to fit in with the Amish. They don't quite like how he's been flirting with Rachel but shows he's one of them when he joins them in raising a barn. He gives more info to Sgt. Carter (Brent Jennings) who's later killed by Chief Schaffer (Joseph Sommer) who warns Book he's going to find him. Book goes to town regularly to use the payphone and is picked on by townies. Unlike other Amish, he surprises them by fighting back.
Schaffer, McFee, and another cop, Ferguson (Angus MacInnes) find the community where Book has been hiding and come after him. McFee is shot and Ferguson drowns in a corn silo. Schaffer is about to kill book when Samuel rings a bell summoning all the Amish in the area, who surround him and force him to give up. John Book is cleared of danger and wrongdoing and returns to his city ways.
WITHOUT THESE WALLS (WE WOULDN'T HAVE A TV SERIES)
MAD UK #156, circa 1974
artist and writer unknown
I don't know what the obsession was in other countries with womens' prisons. We didn't really have anything until Orange Is the New Black. Sure, there were dozens of women in prison films in the U.S. in the early seventies, but those were about penal colonies, I mean ones more like jails. One popular one in England was Within These Walls.
Her Majesty's Prison Stone Park was run by Faye Boswell (Googie Withers).
The Deputy Governor of the prison was Charles Radley (Jerome Wills).
THE WRETCHES OF ECCHFLICK
MAD #276, January 1988
w: Frank Jacobs
a: Mort Drucker
Tells the story of three friends, widow Alexandra Medford (Cher), divorcee Jane Spofford (Susan Sarandon), and single mother Sukie Ridgemont (Michelle Pfeiffer), who all meet and are seduced by Daryl Van Horne (Jack Nicholson).
Titles of other Jack Nicholson movies are on labels throughout.
The three women have a weekly meeting and over wine talk about who would be the perfect man. They don't realize that the new man in town is the man they conjured up. Daryl has bought the Lenox mansion, a historical landmark because witches had been murdered there centuries ago. They all first meet Daryl at a town concert that he interrupts snoring in the back row. Neighborhood housewife Felicia (Veronica Cartwright) knows that Daryl is really the devil and tries to warn everyone and nobody believes her. Her husband (Richard Jenkins) tries to calm her down. Later, Alexandra runs into Daryl who invites her over for lunch and seduces him. She finds him vulgar but is drawn to him.
Felicia falls down a flight of stairs at the recital, and in the hospital is convinced Daryl is responsible. He visits Jane, who played cello in the town recital, and teaches her to be uninhibited with her music. The three woman meet at the mansion, and initially angry after finding out Daryl's been seeing both Alexandra and Jane, and has the hots for Sukie, all play tennis and realizing he's magic agree to share him. Felicia is reporter for the town paper and has slut-shamed them in the newspaper, but at one of their bacchanalias Daryl tells them not to worry as he swallows cherries, which Felicia regurgitates in her house. Since the movie is directed by the man who made the Mad Max and Babe movies, the puking is somewhat stylized.
Felicia's character assassination of Daryl becomes too much for him and he gets his revenge by telekenetically killing her, which convinces the women to cut him off, which makes him angry. He casts spells on all the woman, and puts Sukie in the hospital. The women also find out they've been knocked up by him and hatch up a plan where they feign interest in him and move into his mansion. While he's gone, they cast a voodoo spell and get rid of him. A couple years later it shows them with their babies that Daryl tries to reach through the TV.
German cover
Interesting trivia: This was George Miller's first American production. He didn't know that everyone had trailers on shoots and he told them he didn't need it. The producers saw this as a sign of weakness and took and advantage of it by not giving him what he wanted, until Jack Nicholson fought on his behalf.
WISEASS
Cracked #248, October 1989
w: Vic Bianco (Lou Silverstone)
a: Walter Brogan
Another show that completely overlaps with my college years, which were practically my TV blackout years, which is why I hadn't heard about it until now. It was all about undercover sting operatives catching mobsters for the O.C.B. (Organized Crime Bureau). The main cop was Vinnie Terranova (Ken Wahl), working for Frank McPike (Jonathan Banks). Their imformation operative was Daniel Burroughs a/k/a Lifeguard (Jim Byrnes), with the organization headed by Paul Beckwith (Ken Jenkins).
Rocky and Mugsy from the Bugs Bunny cartoons are probably among the gangsters because they're the easiest to draw. The Edward G. Robinson caricature looks out of place being lifted from Hirschfield among a group of Drucker/Davis copies.
WHINERS AND LOSERS WHO DRAW BADLY
Cracked #247, September 1989
w: Peter Bagge
a: Rob Orzechowski
Game show similar to Pictionary. The teams were divided between men and women and both had celebrities and contestants. This version was hosted by Vicki Lawrence-Schultz. The womens' team on this is Ruth Buzzi and JoAnne Worley of Laugh-In.
Ruth Buzzi did a show on Saturday mornings called The Lost Saucer with Jim Nabors, which must be what they're referring to. It's supposed to be Andy Warhol in the second panel.
The other team has Arte Johnson and Alan Sues, also of Laugh-In.
WILLIES
MAD #149, March 1972
w: Dick DeBartolo
a: Mort Drucker
Willard Stiles (Bruce Davison) has a dreary job at a factory that was apparently once owned by his late father and stolen by his boss Al Martin (Ernest Borgnine). He comes home to find his mother Henrietta (Elsa Lanchester) has thrown a surprise party for him. It is only her friends in attendance since he has none, and he leaves embarrassed, going to the backyard seeing some rats. His bedridden mother wants him to do chores around the house, including having to kill the rats.
Willard's boss is strict and has him come in on the weekends, and has hired a temp, Joan (Sondra Locke), to help him out. At home, he's secretly befriended the rats.
Willard takes care, feeds, and trains the rats, hiding them from his mother. He has to handle Mr. Martin's invitations to his party, but is not invited, so he has the rats crash it.
He brings his two favorite rats, Ben and Socrates, to work with him, then gets a call, and finds out his mother died. Her friend Charlotte (Jody Gilbert) was told to look after him and he kicks her out. He's told by a banker his mother owed taxes on the house and he has to pay them or lose it. Willard's at a loss for what to do until he overhears that one of his boss's clients is really rich, so that night he summons the rats to invade the guy's home and steals breaks in and steals money as the rats chase him away.
One day when Willard brings Ben and Socrates to work and puts them in the supply closet, but they escape, freaking out one of the employees and causing a ruckus. Mr. Martin runs in and bludgeons Socrates to death. Mr. Martin has also been trying to pressure Willard to sell his home to knock it down and build an apartment complex. Mr. Martin tries to convince Joan to pressure Willard but she won't do it, and he fires them both.
Willard can't stand anymore and goes to the Mr. Martin's office with his army of rats, demanding a raise and to be treated more respectfully. They swarm all over Mr. Martin and he jumps out a window. A newly confident Willard is through with the rats now. He's invited Joan to his house and they come back to invade it.
