A-Z GUIDE TO MOVIES AND TV SHOWS PARODIED BY MAD, CRACKED, CRAZY, ETC. UP TO 1996. THEY HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS. SPOILERS AND OTHER NON-SEQUITURS, TOO. SOMETIMES THESE THINGS HAVE WORDS OR SITUATIONS WE DON'T USE ANYMORE. YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE THEY'RE OLD.
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Tuesday, June 20, 2023
ROLLERBRAWL
ROLLERBALL (1975)
dir: Norman Jewison
MAD #181, March 1976
w: Stan Hart
a: Angelo Torres
In the future of five years ago, the planet Earth is controlled by corporations, and their sport is rollerball, a sort of roller derby/hockey/football/skeeball hybrid and Jonathan-E (James Caan) is the star player for the Houston team.
After the latest game, Bartholomew (John Houseman), owner of the team, goes back to Jonathan and players such as Moonpie (John Beck). At home, Jonathan pines for his former wife (Maud Adams) and the corporation is giving him a package to try and convince him to retire little by little, starting with a new wife Daphne (Barbara Trentham). It wouldn't be a futuristic 70s sci-fi movie without some sort of government-sanctioned prostitution.
Jonathan is trying to find out about sports and the world of the past from his trainer Clete (Moses Gunn) and has also been invited to Bartholomew's office. They need to get him to retire, and lavishing him with gifts doesn't seem to be working, so to get him out the board has decided to oust him out by making the game more difficult for him.
The company changes the rules of rollerball during their big game with Tokyo to make it more violent in the hopes of removing Jonathan, but ends up killing many of the players and knocking Moonpie into a coma. Jonathan refuses to have Moonpie taken off life support.
Jonathan tries to find out about the past before the corporations took over. At the library, he finds all the books have been digitized with everything he needs to know erased. He goes to Geneva to ask a supercomputer known as Zero, which breaks down when he asks these questions.
Jonathan's wife Ella (Maud Adams) returns. She had been taken away by the corporation but now has returned to warn him he must quit the game or he will be killed.
In Houston's game against New York City, the game has been rigged to finally kill Jonathan-E off, but he overcomes all obstacles in his way to the chants of the crowd.
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