THE CROCKETEER

THE ROCKETEER (1991)
dir: Joe Johnston

MAD didn't do a full-on parody but mentioned it in their Video Reviews. When the magazine started, the shelf-life of a movie in the theaters might be a year or more, but with the advent of VHS by the time a movie would be on video between the time of writing the parody and the time the magazine was released, so this became a recurring feature.

From MAD #310, April 1992 by Stan Hart and Sam Viviano

THE CROCKETEER
Cracked #268, December 1991
w: Lou Silverstone
a: John Severin

Howard Hughes (Terry O'Quinn) has developed a rocket engine that has been stolen by gangster Eddie Valentine (Paul Sorvino) and his men. As they're being pursued by the FBI, they hide the stolen rocket in a remote field. Cliff Secord (Billy Campbell) is a pilot at an air show, his plane, the Gee Bee Zee, crashes. He tries to get his mechanic and father figure Peevy (Alan Arkin) to fix it, and in the process they find the hidden rocket. That's how the movie begins.

Cliff and Peavey test the rocket on a statue before he uses it himself. An actor, Neville Sinclair (Timothy Dalton), loosely modeled after Errol Flynn, is in cahoots with the mob trying to retrieve the rocket. At the local diner, Cliff and his girlfriend Jenny Blake (Jennifer Connolly) have a spat because she didn't come to his air show and she couldn't because she's an extra in the new Neville Sinclair movie. He later goes to see her on the set of the movie to tell her things will be better now that he has a jet pack, and end up knocking the whole set over, getting her fired.

Sinclair eavesdrops on them reconciling, finding out Cliff now has the lost rocket, and gets Jenny back, At the next air show, Malcolm (Eddie Jones) has replaced Cliff, and is about to crash, but is rescued by Cliff in his jet pack, and has been dubbed by the public as The Rocketeer. Hired mob goon Lothar (Tiny Ron Taylor) and then FBI are both trying to retrieve the rocket from Cliff and Peevey.

With the gangsters chasing Peevey in his truck (which actually happens earlier), Cliff as the Rocketeer pushes it and makes it speed up using the rocket on his back. Jenny has been seduced by Neville Sinclair who's taken her to a fancy nightclub. Cliff comes disguised as a waiter to warn her she's in danger, pursued by gangsters and the law. He attempts to escape as the Rocketeer, gets shot at, and the spectacle scares away all the patrons. In the chaos, Neville chloroforms Jenny and brings her back to his home, and she finds out his a Nazi.

An actor playing W. C. Fields does have a cameo, but not Mae West or Oliver Hardy.

Neville Sinclair and the mob kidnap Jenny, the FBI and Howard Hughes have arrested Cliff. Howard Hughes is the rightful owner of the rocket, and the mob has stolen it because they're giving it to the Germans, who have been trying to develop such a thing of their own. Cliff has it all figured out, he will return the rocket if he can save Jenny first. He meets them at the Griffith Observatory, revealing he knows their whole plan. Valentine had no idea he was working for Nazis all along and switches sides to work with the FBI. In comic book terms, it's like when Professor X forms an alliance with Magneto to say “We may not like each other but we both hate this other thing even more.”

The Nazis have escaped in a zeppelin with Jenny and it is up to Cliff in Rocketeer garb to rescue her. He gives the rocket pack to Neville at gunpoint but has secretly taken off a piece of gum that was used to plug a hole caused earlier by a stray bullet. Without the plugged hole, the fuel tank combusts, so when Neville tries to fly away with it, he explodes. Howard Hughes and Peevey fly in at the last minute to save Cliff and Jenny from a zeppelin that's about to combust.

On a side note, it seems like altering the Hollywood/Hollywoodland sign is something that's been done dozens of times in movies. Somebody should make a complete list.

Michael Ricigliano and Don Martin did their takes in that same issue.