THE TOWERING STERNO

THE TOWERING INFERNO (1974)
dir: John Guillermin

THE TOWERING STERNO
MAD #177, November 1975
w: Dick DeBartolo
a: Mort Drucker

Before the science-fiction genre inspired by Star Wars, then the action movie, then the now-popular superhero genre, the disaster movie was the big-budget all-star summer movie release, soap operas with disaster backdrops. There was the Airport franchise about jet planes malfunctioning, The Poseidon Adventure about a cruise ship malfunctioning, Earthquake. The Towering Inferno was about the world's biggest skyscraper catching fire.

Doug Roberts (Paul Newman) has designed the Glass Tower in San Francisco, and James Duncan (William Holden) is the developer of the building. The Glass Tower is 138 stories tall, part office, and part residential. Harlee Claiborne (Fred Astaire) has arrived, we soon find out he lives there and is some kind of con artist, and there is a premiere party for the building. At the central security office headed by Harry Jernigan (O. J. Simpson), they notice there may be smoke in one of the rooms from faulty wiring. Doug returns to work where his girlfriend Susan (Faye Dunaway) is waiting for him.

James Duncan had his son-in-law, Roger Simmons (Richard Chamberlain) do the electrical engineering, and cut corners that led to the faulty wiring. Everybody's getting ready for the premiere party, including the building's P.R. person Dan Bigelow (Robert Wagner).

Michael O'Halloran (Steve McQueen) is called to put out the little fire while the party is going on above them. Senator Parker (Robert Vaughn) is one of the guests at the party. Duncan is angry at his son-in-law for wiring the building cheaply while Dan Bigelow is having an affair with his secretary Lorrie (Susan Flannery). Dan and Lorrie try to leave his office but can't now that the fire has started raging.

The party has been moved down below so that the fire can be controlled, though the attendees are unaware of its magnitude. Lisolette Mueller (Jennifer Jones) was being wooed by Harlee Claiborne (those scenes aren't used here) and while escaping has to help move out some of the residents, including some children. Doug, having designed the building, knows ways to get out and with Lisolette gets the children through stairwells and elevator shafts. In the movie. Phillip (Mike Lookinland) is awakened while wearing headphones, in this parody, he keeps them on the whole time.

While plans are being made to rescue all the building attendees, Roger tells his wife Patty (Susan Blakely) he's escaping on his own, but finds he can't. Harlee and Lisolette are reuinited and he admits he was being nice to her all along to con her, but she sees that he's an honest man deep inside and doesn't care about all that now.

Everybody is being saved gradually by rappelling on a chair attached to a cable which is attached to a helicopter. It's women and children first, the first twelve through a lottery, and of course there are casualties. (In another scene from the movie not used in this, Roger pushes everyone out of the way and hangs on to the makeshift escape device, then plummets to his death. I can imagine when this played in a theater the crowd all cheered.)

Charlton Heston from Airport '75, which came out roughly around the same time, appears in the next to last panel.

Everyone still trapped in the building is saved from the sprinklers all being turned on and dousing the water out. Henry saved Harlee's cat from his apartment. After everybody's been evacuated, Michael warns Doug about the dangers of building more tall buildings.

Cover for German edition of MAD.

From New Musicals Based on Big Movies in #182, April 1976, by Frank Jacobs, also drawn by Drucker.

Ava Gardner isn't drawn here, but Gloria Swanson, who played herself in Airport '75, is, as well as Karen Black, and George Kennedy, who was the only person in all four Airport movies.

THE TOWERING INFERNAL
Cracked #126, August 1975
a: John Severin

Nitpicking, but Paul Newman and O. J. Simpson worked for the building and weren't fireman, so this cover shows how well people knew about a movie in advance back in pre-internet times.

Charlton Heston also makes an appearance in this parody, the “monkey” quote a reference to Planet of the Apes.

From Cracked #137, November 1976. art by Sururi Gumen

Tune in tomorrow for versions from Crazy and Sick.