INBANANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF GOONS

INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM (1984)
dir: Steven Spielberg

MAD #250, October 1984
w: Dick DeBartolo
a:Jack Davis

Second in the Indiana Jones franchise (third one tomorrow). Opens at Club Obi-Wan in Shanghai where Willie Scott (Kate Capshaw) is singing. Archaeologist/explorer Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) has found the remains of an ancient emperor which he is giving crime boss Lao Che (Ray Chiao) in exchange for a diamond. After being given the diamond, he has been double-crossed and the crime-lords have poisoned his drink and threatened not to give him the antidote unless he returns the diamond. After her act, Willie comes to the table, because in movies, nightclub singers are always associated with criminals. Indiana then holds her for ransom unless he gets the antidote and amidst chaos that's been created, both the diamond and the antidote fall on the floors and everybody crawls on the ground looking for the respective properties they want.

Indiana has both the diamond and the antidote and is being chased by gunmen. He runs out of the club and takes Willie with him, I guess to have a female co-star, and they're rescued in a car driven by Short Round (Jonathan Ke Quan), Indiana's very young sidekick. They escape in a plane which happens to be owned by Lao Che, and the plane's crew leaves them while in flight, and the only thing they have to escape in before the plane crashes is an inflatable raft. They land in the Indian village of Mayapore.

The Shaman there believes Indiana has been sent by god and ask him to free their kidnapped children and retrieve their lost Sankara stone from a palace in Pankot. The Maharaja's Prime Minister Chattar Lal (Roshan Seth) welcomes them and invites them to dinner, and are disgusted by the food made from unfamiliar species and parts, and monkey brains for dessert. When they spend the night, an assassin tries to kill Indiana. He has a chance to sleep with Willie and discovers her room is booby-trapped with controls that lead to a secret passageway. He and Short Round explore tunnels that correspond with a map and they wind up in a cave with walls will crush them and yell for Willie to find a lever that will stop the walls from moving.

Willie saves them in time and is covered by bugs. They find where a sacrifice ritual is being performed by Mola Ram (Amrish Puri) of the Thuggees and also within that tunnel is the stone and the children that have been forced into slave labor. Indiana tries to get to the stone but is caught and kidnapped. He is forced to drink the blood from the sacrifice ritual which has a hypnotizing power forcing him to become one of the bad guys, and they almost sacrifice Willie. Short Round burns him causing him to get out of the trance.

After freeing the children, he along with Willie and Short Round are chased by the Thuggees tracks on mining cars in a tunnel, they escape a flood only to find themselves on a cliff overlooking a river full of crocodiles, there's a fight on a suspension bridge, the British Army shows up to help them at the last minute (none of this is in the parody, and they return to Mayapore with the stone and the freed children.

This was the cover for the German edition.

And the Brazilian one. Maybe the woman is Romberta Pose? Or from it? I don't know if Romberta Pose is a person or a show or what?

INDIANAPOLIS BONES AND THE TEMPLE OF GLOOM
Cracked #206, November 1984
a: John Severin

Blake Carrington was a character from Dynasty.

Disneyland actually has an Indiana Jones ride which I think is like this.

UPDATE:
INDIANA JONES OUTTAKES AND BLOOPERS
Maniac #2, circa 1984
w: Jovial Bob Stine
a: Steve Goldsworthy