OY, WHATTA STORY

TOY STORY (1995)
dir: John Lasseter

OY, WHATTA STORY
Cracked #306, March 1996
w: Andy Simmons
a: John Severin

Another parody I suspect was written from press materials before being able to see the movie.

The toys, led by Woody (Tom Hanks), are a piggy bank (John Ratzenberger), a Slinky dog (Jim Varney), Mr. Potato Head (Don Rickles)Bo Peep (Annie Potts), and Rex the Tyrannosaur (Wallace Shawn). They eavesdrop on their owner Andy (John Morris)'s birthday party. The father is not in the movie.

Andy's new toy, an astronaut named Buzz Lightyear (Tim Allen) fascinates all the other toys. Buzz thinks he's a real person and doesn't realize he's just a toy like the rest of them. Woody is jealous of Buzz's popularity and worried about being shunned, schemes to kill him and sets a trap to get him to fall out a window.

Buzz's catchphrase is “To infinity and beyond”

The other toys get mad at Woody and turn against him, but don't go outside like in this, and there's no teddy bear.

Woody feels bad for what he did and goes out to get Buzz, and now they're lost. They find Andy and his mother at a pizza arcade restaurant but end up in the home of Andy's neighbor Sid (Erik Von Detten), a sadistic kid who takes toys apart and has an even more menacing pit bull. Woody and Buzz, once enemies, reconcile when Buzz realizes he's onlt a toy and gives up.

At Sid's house, examples of his previous toy “experiments” are strewn about the room, and Woody and Buzz fear they'll be next. Sid shows up with plans to destroy them the next day when he wakes up.

Reference is made to Apollo 13, a live-action Tom Hanks movie.

In the real movie, Andy is moving, and Woody and Buzz catch up and their other toy friends in the van using the M-80 Sid planned to torture Buzz with. After everything has now settled down, it ends with Christmas and Andy's new gift, which is even worse competition for them, a puppy.

APPLIANCE STORY
MAD #345, May 1996
w: Dick DeBartolo
a: Steve Smallwood