A-Z GUIDE TO MOVIES AND TV SHOWS PARODIED BY MAD, CRACKED, CRAZY, ETC. UP TO 1996. THEY HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS. SPOILERS AND OTHER NON-SEQUITURS, TOO. SOMETIMES THESE THINGS HAVE WORDS OR SITUATIONS WE DON'T USE ANYMORE. YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE THEY'RE OLD.
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BLIMP SUNDAY
MAD #195, December 1977
w: Dick DeBartolo
a: Mort Drucker
Dahlia (Marthe Keller) heads a Palestinian terrorist group called Black September. The goal of her group is to cause a big disturbance at a major event in America to attract attention to their cause.
Her boyfriend is a suicidal vet named Lander (Bruce Dern) who is a blimp pilot.
Fighting with a rival Israeli organization, Dahlia disguises herself as a nurse and poisons Officer Kabakov (Robert Shaw) in the hospital.
Lander and Dahlia test a device he made with the plastic explosives she had smuggled earlier inside some statues, and they plan to use it on a remote farm out in the desert. They convince the owner of the land they are there to take a picture.
Fasil (Bekim Fehmiu), another member of the organization, finds the Americans are on to their plan and calls it off. The authorities corner him and shoot him on the beach.
There's a tip something's going to happen at the Superbowl, which they can't cancel because of the crowd.
Since Lander is a pilot and plans to commit suicide anyway, the plan is to drive the blimp into the Superbowl stadium. He knocks out Farley, the designated pilot, and takes his place. He will detonate the device while they're floating above it. The Americans, with the aid of the Israelis, can't shoot the blimp down above the stadium because it would explode like the Hindenburg. They have to divert it so it's floating above the ocean and they can shoot it down there.
George Kennedy from the Airport series shows up because their Airport '77 parody is on the next page (you can find the post of it by clicking the link to it on the right) and because it has a similar ending to the previous Airport movie. MAD's ending has the blimp being shot down over the ocean, but unfortunately it explodes over a ship.
BLECCH SUNDAY
Crazy #32, December 1977
w: Fred Wolfe (Paul Laikin)
a: Walter Brogan
LACK BRAIN
Cracked #253, May 1990
w: Charles E. Hall
a: Walter Brogan
I hadn't heard of this movie before and when searching for copies I could only find a Japanese film about the apocalypse that came out at around the same time, so I'm just going to have to compare this to the summaries on IMDb and Wikipedia and take their word for it. Looks like the same plot as Beverly Hills Cop except in Japan.
(Asian people were still being called “Orientals” by some in 1989. In fact, all kinds of sinophobia was considered acceptable by mainstream media then, so heads up.)
Nick Conklin (Michael Douglas) is a New York City police officer who with his partner Charlie (Andy Garcia), observe observe criminal activity among Japanese gangsters. One of the suspects, Sato (Yusaku Matsuda), is extradited to police in Osaka and given to the police there. Nick and Charlie take him there and the Osaka police they deliver Sato to turn out to be criminal impostors and join Osaka police, led by Masahiro Matsumoto (Ken Takakuro), to get him back.
At dinner Nick and Charlie offend Matsumoto with their American ways, but a waitress named Joyce (Kate Capshaw) smooths things over. They also find out about a counterfeiting scheme through her. Nick is told to stay out of their business but shows he knows of their scheme. Now they are in danger for their lives.
Nick and Matsumoto track down Sato and it leads to mob boss Sugai (Tomisaburo Wakayama), where Sato is presenting counterfeit plates to him. Nick is sent back to the US after getting too involved in the case. He escapes back to japan and does his own investigating, finding out the counterfeiting is revenge for “black rain”, what Japanese call atomic fallout.
Sato has double-crossed the Yakuza (what they call the mob there) and as punishment gets his finger cut off. A fight ensues and Nick and Matsumato work together to bring in Sato.
(That's Michael Douglas' father Kirk in the last panel for no reason).
THE BLECH HOLE
Crazy #65, August 1980
w: Paul Kupperberg
a: Bob McLeod & Klaus Janson
Captain Dan Holland (Robert Forster), Lt. Pizer (Joseph Bottoms), Dr. Durant (Anthony Perkins), Dr. Kate MacRae (Yvette Mimieux) are the crew of the starship Palomino, and about to return to Earth when they discover a black hole.
Also on the monitor, the robot VINCENT (Roddy McDowall) discovers the spaceship Cygnus, long-thought lost, which had Kate's father in the crew.
The crew minus Lt. Pizer, and including embedded journalist Harry Booth (Ernest Borgnine) investigates the Cygnus.
Everyone on the Cygnus was presumed dead, but they find commander Dr. Reinhardt (Maximillian Schell). The Palomino crew is skeptical of Reinhardt's theory that the Cygnus can fly through the black hole and are suspicious of that ship's faceless drones.
In the parody, the other side of the black hole is Disneyworld. Apt since The Black Hole was a Disney movie.
Crazy was published by Marvel, which is now part of Disney, so it comes full circle. Kind of like a black hole.
Missing from the parody is OLD BOB, voiced by Slim Pickens, an older prototype of the VINCENT robot.
There was also this ad in William Shakespeare...Movie Critic from MAD in # 224.
FOR THE BIRDS
MAD #82, October 1963
w: Arnie Kogen & Lou Silverstone
a: Mort Drucker
Melanie (Tippi Hedren, they mostly use the actors' names in this) is working at a pet store in San Francisco. Mitch (Rod Taylor, called Roger in this) is a city lawyer who has come in looking for lovebirds for his kid sister.
(“The Birds Is Coming” was a tagline for the movie. Grace Kelly was often a favored ingenue of Hitchcock's before she married a prince. Hitchcock was known for making cameos in his films and slightly resembled Russian Premier Nikita Krushchev, who said “We will bury you” to the US in a speech.)
They don't have birds at the store that day but that weekend she goes to deliver them to Bodego Bay, the small town where he lives. On her way there she's attacked by a seagull.
(In the margins, where MAD usually had miniature cartoons by Sergio Aragones, there were drawings on these pages of birds by Mort Drucker that looked slightly like Aragones.)
He brings her to the house and introduces her to his mother (Jessica Tandy) and sister. A flock of seagulls descends on them when they go out.
They go to check on someone and find that he's been killed by birds. This time the famous fat man they think will be Hitchcock eally is him this time. In the actual film, he's a dog walker in a street scene after the credits. (Sorry for the spoiler. You've had 58 years to see this.)
Later, she visits her friend at a school (Susanne Pleshette) to warn about the attacks and is told to wait outside for a moment. As she waits, a group of crows descends.
I'm not sure if the caricatures of Steve Allen and Red Skelton doing Gertrude & Heathcliff here are birds or are also sitting on the bench being attacked by them. But regardless, she warns everybody to evacuate the school and now she warns everyone at a diner.
She hides in a phone booth for shelter, Roger finds her, and brings her home for safety. It turns out Burt Lancaster was behind all this. That year, he was the lead in Birdman of Alcatraz. Gregory Peck is next because of To Kill a Mockingbird. Get it?
I didn't get this clip when I was seven, but thought it was funny nonetheless. I thought High Anxiety was really funny when I saw it, but had no idea the whole film was a parody of Hitchcock.
THE NERDCAGE
MAD #348, August 1996
w: Stan Hart
a: Mort Drucker
Armand (Robin Williams) and Albert (Nathan Lane) are a couple who own a drag club in Miami called The Birdcage and live above it.
(The man Armand is talking to is the maid of the household, played by Hank Azaria. The name of the club here is a pun on “La Cage aux Folles”, the French film on which this is based, and was the name of the club in that. I think it's supposed to say “La Cage Au Faux Pas” since that would make more sense and the word 'falix' doesn't even exist in the French language. The other characters on the stage are Dustin Hoffman in Tootsie (parodied in MAD as well) and Wesley Snipes, John Leguizamo, and Patrick Swayze from To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar, another drag comedy. Senator Keeley, played by Gene Hackman, doesn't show up until later, but is introduced in the splash panel to establish the premise.)
Armand's son (Dan Futterman) shows up to tell his father he is getting married. Armand thinks he is too young because he is only 20 and she is only 18 but gives his blessing.
The daughter (Calista Flockhart)'s father is a right wing senator who's the head of a family values council. She's been lying about who her fiance's parents really are.
Senator Jackson, an ally of Keeley has been caught in a recent sex scandal and Keeley's wife (Dianne Weist) proposes they publicize the wedding of their daughter to make the media and public forget all about it.
Since the in-laws are coming down to Miami, the son now insists his father pretend to be straight. He asks to change the décor of the house and store away any art that hints he has gay parents. Albert comes and notices everything gone. Not knowing of the charade, Armand takes him out, tells him about it and that he must pose as a relative, and teaches him how to act like a heterosexual.
In addition to being homophobic, the Keeleys are also anti-semitic so the family must also pretend to be Christian and put Christian symbols in the house.
Armand has asked the biological mother (Christine Baranski) to show up as the wife. She gets caught in traffic and they think she won't be able to make it, but Albert shows up in drag instead. They go out of their way to keep pretending. Mr. Keeley has to be convinced but Mrs. Keeley thinks their acting odd is just their being “sophisticated”.
In a scene not used in the parody, they forgot to hide some of the gay-themed tchotckes, such as dinnerware with pictures of naked Greek man-boy athletics and and an ashtray shaped like a human ass.
The son decides the whole hoax is ridiculous and outs his family to the Senator who begrudgingly accepts, but now that it's time to leave he can't be seen by the press coming out of The Birdcage. He and his wife leave in drag so reporters won't recognize them.
(I'm pretty sure the joke is that Mrs. Doubtfire is another drag character, and it's only a coincidence that he also happens to be played by Robin Williams).
This movie was based on the superior French La Cage Aux Folles. It was already a hit in America with sequels and a musical based on it, so I'm not sure why they would need to remake it, except maybe to have Nathan Lane and Robin Williams improvise schtick together. Not sure why they would need an A-list screenwriter (Elaine May) and director for something that's mostly verbatim but c'est la vie.
THE MORONIC WOMAN
MAD # 188, January 1977
w: Dick DeBartolo
a: Mort Drucker
The Six Million Dollar Man was such a hit, the networks decided to do a spinoff. The premise of the original show was that astronaut Steve Austin was in an accident and was injured so critically he had to be rebuilt from scratch, and the government made him into a cyborg and had him perform missions for them.
The Bionic Woman was basically the same show. Not saying that Jamie Sommers (Lindsay Wagner) was just Steve Austin with tits, because they were always crossing over into each others' episodes and working together, and The Bionic Woman was probably the more popular of the two shows.
It all started when Steve Austin went back to his hometown and met up with his old girlfriend. On a parachuting date, Jamie also got into an accident resulting in her being rebuilt with bionic parts and working for the Office of Scientific Intelligence, supervised by Oscar Goldman (Richard Anderson) Until the mid-80s, practically every TV show had an opening explaining the origin.
In her real identity she taught school.
Every episode had a slow-motion action scene, often with the “at-at-at-at-at” sound effect.
THE BIONIC LADY
Cracked #135, Septermber 1976
a: John Severin
They often used the inside front and back covers to make a poster.
Steve's parents (Martha Scott and Ford Rainey) let her live in an apartment above the barn next to them, which is weird, because if you were drafted as a government agent, they would provide housing for you.
(Lucas Tanner and Gabriel Kotter were teachers on their own shows)
THE BOOBONIC WOMAN
Crazy #27, July 1977
w: Fred Wolfe (Paul Laikin)
a: Walter Brogan
(Cosmopolitan had a piece on Burt Reynolds and the centerfold was a picture of him naked, spoofing the Playboy centerfold, and for several years thereafter there were jokes as if every issue of Cosmopolitan had photos of male nudes.)
One of Jamie's features was super-hearing.
It's faded, but that's supposed to be a photo of President Carter replacing Ford. The one-note joke about Ford is that he was dumb and Carter's is that he was a peanut farmer before getting into politics.
I doubt the writer of the Crazy parody ever saw an episode, but at least seems to have gotten the premise and features down. Which is more than I can say about this Sick parody where the writer only seemed to know that she was artificial in some way.
THE BIOMIC WOMAN
Sick #117, October 1977
w: Joe Gill
a: Jack Sparling
