A-Z GUIDE TO MOVIES AND TV SHOWS PARODIED BY MAD, CRACKED, CRAZY, ETC. UP TO 1996. THEY HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS. SPOILERS AND OTHER NON-SEQUITURS, TOO. SOMETIMES THESE THINGS HAVE WORDS OR SITUATIONS WE DON'T USE ANYMORE. YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE THEY'RE OLD.
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Saturday, January 30, 2021
LACK BRAIN
BLACK RAIN (1989)
dir: Ridley Scott
LACK BRAIN
Cracked #253, May 1990
w: Charles E. Hall
a: Walter Brogan
I hadn't heard of this movie before and when searching for copies I could only find a Japanese film about the apocalypse that came out at around the same time, so I'm just going to have to compare this to the summaries on IMDb and Wikipedia and take their word for it. Looks like the same plot as Beverly Hills Cop except in Japan.
(Asian people were still being called “Orientals” by some in 1989. In fact, all kinds of sinophobia was considered acceptable by mainstream media then, so heads up.)
Nick Conklin (Michael Douglas) is a New York City police officer who with his partner Charlie (Andy Garcia), observe observe criminal activity among Japanese gangsters. One of the suspects, Sato (Yusaku Matsuda), is extradited to police in Osaka and given to the police there. Nick and Charlie take him there and the Osaka police they deliver Sato to turn out to be criminal impostors and join Osaka police, led by Masahiro Matsumoto (Ken Takakuro), to get him back.
At dinner Nick and Charlie offend Matsumoto with their American ways, but a waitress named Joyce (Kate Capshaw) smooths things over. They also find out about a counterfeiting scheme through her. Nick is told to stay out of their business but shows he knows of their scheme. Now they are in danger for their lives.
Nick and Matsumoto track down Sato and it leads to mob boss Sugai (Tomisaburo Wakayama), where Sato is presenting counterfeit plates to him. Nick is sent back to the US after getting too involved in the case. He escapes back to japan and does his own investigating, finding out the counterfeiting is revenge for “black rain”, what Japanese call atomic fallout.
Sato has double-crossed the Yakuza (what they call the mob there) and as punishment gets his finger cut off. A fight ensues and Nick and Matsumato work together to bring in Sato.
(That's Michael Douglas' father Kirk in the last panel for no reason).
Page 4, panel 1; there's a cameo by detective hero Charlie Chan and one of his sons, even though Chan was Chinese, not Japanese. I'm guessing that's meant to be Sidney Toler as Chan and Victor Sen Yung as "number two son" Jimmy.
Page 4, panel 1; there's a cameo by detective hero Charlie Chan and one of his sons, even though Chan was Chinese, not Japanese. I'm guessing that's meant to be Sidney Toler as Chan and Victor Sen Yung as "number two son" Jimmy.
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