ECCHCALIBER

EXCALIBUR (1981)
dir: John Boorman

ECCHCALIBER
MAD #227, December 1981
w: Larry Siegel
a: Don Martin

Uther (Gabriel Byrne) wishes to be king of England and seeks the help of Merlin (Nicol Williamson), a sorcerer, to possess Excalibur, the sword of power, and gains leadership in exchange for his son. Before he loses his life in battle, he buries the sword in a stone (here it's someone's butt) and only his son can remove it and shall be king. Years later, Arthur (Nigel Terry), not yet aware he is the natural son of Uther, loses his sword while attending a jousting tournament, he searches and ends up finding Excalibur, removing it from the stone.

Merlin has agreed to be Arthur's guardian, and that night meets Guenevere (Cherie Lunghi) and falls in love. Later, Arthur crosses paths with Sir Lancelot (Nicholas Clay) and beats him in a duel, earning Lancelot's respect and now agrees Arthur to be his superior. He is still having an affair with Guenevere.

King Arthur unites all the knights of the land in the Knights of the Round Table. Lancelot is also in love with Guenevere, and stays in hiding in allegiance to Arthur. Morgana (Helen Mirren) a denizen of the castle, is half-sister of Arthur, which he is not aware of. She seduces Merlin and gets him to teach her his magic. She uses the spells she has learned to transform herself into Guenevere so she can be impregnated by him. She gives birth to a son Mordred.

In a scene not used in this parody, King Arthur sees the real Guenevere is porking Lancelot, which makes him so angry he thrusts Excalibur into the ground.

Without Excalibur and public knowledge that Mordred is a child of incest, Arthur becomes weaker as does England. He and the knights can only be revitalized by drinking from the Holy Grail. It is found by Sir Percival (Paul Geoffrey). Arthur is now challenged by a grown-up Mordred (Robert Addie) for the throne. He has a golden suit of armor and Morgana's spells have made him immune to the magic of Excalibur. (Also not shown here: Arthur reconciles with Guenevere who has kept Excalibur and gives it back to him). Arthur loses the fight and gives Excalibur to Percival to throw in the lake, so that nobody shall ever have it. Here it's given to Merlin for a different punchline.