A-Z GUIDE TO MOVIES AND TV SHOWS PARODIED BY MAD, CRACKED, CRAZY, ETC. UP TO 1996. THEY HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS. SPOILERS AND OTHER NON-SEQUITURS, TOO. SOMETIMES THESE THINGS HAVE WORDS OR SITUATIONS WE DON'T USE ANYMORE. YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE THEY'RE OLD.
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Friday, February 11, 2022
YOU TOO CAN HOOK A ZILLIONAIRE
HOW TO MARRY A MILLIONAIRE (1953)
dir: Jean Neguelsco
YOU TOO CAN HOOK A ZILLIONAIRE
Panic #5, October-November 1954
w: Al Feldstein
a: Wallace Wood
This cover was sideways. I don't know if it was displayed that way on newsstands or what.
It was the first film from 20th Century Fox to be in their new process Cinemascope, involving a wider screen that surrounded the whole theater, and Sensurround, a process speakers throughout the theater instead of just one as usual. These things were from the movie audiences being increasingly lost to television.
Humphrey Bogart, who often played criminals, was married to Lauren Bacall in real life. People my age and older know this from the Warner Brothers cartoons Bacall to Arms and Slick Hare. This was also written at the height of the part of the Hollywood blacklist.
The movie began with a three-minute preview of an orchestra, most likely to show off the Sensurround. No big deal now with all home video having the gimmicks that were once considered new wonders. It starts with Shatze (Lauren Bacall) renting a luxury Manhattan apartment as her first step in her plan to make potential husbands think she's as rich as them. Just like in the movie rent was $1000 a month, which in today's money would be a steal for a five-story walk-up studio in Queens. Her partner in this is Pola (Marilyn Monroe). She's nearsighted and keeps bumping into things, but thinks wearing glasses makes her look ugly. They get Loco (Betty Grable) in on this.
Betty Grable's husband was Harry James, the musician referenced on the last panel in this page and the trumpet player on the second page above
Loco is resourceful with the little money she has. Shatze sells furniture in the apartment to make money to afford the apartment.
Loco and Pola think their fiances are rich. Loco think she's going to a lodge meeting with the guy she's with (Fred Clark), but it's just a cabin in the middle of nowhere and he's already married. The guy's valet (Rory Calhoun) says the trees are his, which she thinks means he's the owner of the land but just means he's caretaker. She sees past the money. Pola accidentally gets on the wrong plane and meets the previous owner of the apartment (David Wayne) who claims to have money but can't get to it because he's in hiding. She falls in love with him because he's even more nearsighted.
Meanwhile, Shatze settles for the guy she thinks is just maintenance man of the building (Cameron Mitchell). When all three couples meet, it turns out Shatze's new husband, who's advances she kept rebuffing and she thought was poor all along, is the owner of the building and several oil rigs. They all live happily ever after.
HOW TO MARRY A BILLIONAIRE
Riot #3, August 1954
w: Stan Lee
a: Dan DeCarlo
Dan DeCarlo ended up designing the look of Archie that lasted until just about five years ago but before that was an artist for Marvel/Atlas and gag cartoonist for Humorama, another publisher from the same parent company.
All the panels in this one go all the way across to imitate the movie's wide-screen format. The apartment's nt fancy in this one.
The Marilyn Monroe character's deaf instead of blind here. Humphrey Bogart makes an appearance here too. The suitors are all combinations of the ones they're parodying.
The guy Monroe eventually meets and marries is the one in the overcoat we see later in the parody and sneaks around the apartment unbeknownst to them.
In the Riot parody, the baseball player on the last page is Joe DiMaggio, to whom Monroe was married in real life. (Things quickly went sour, and they would soon be divorced.)
In the Panic parody, the way Wood has posed Monroe on the piano on page 4 is a sneaky reference to her infamous nude calendar pin-up, which had been used as Playboy's first centerfold. (Those comic book publishers, always corrupting the minds of America's youth. No wonder they keep getting kicked out of their lavish New York penthouse apartments.)
In the Riot parody, the baseball player on the last page is Joe DiMaggio, to whom Monroe was married in real life. (Things quickly went sour, and they would soon be divorced.)
ReplyDeleteIn the Panic parody, the way Wood has posed Monroe on the piano on page 4 is a sneaky reference to her infamous nude calendar pin-up, which had been used as Playboy's first centerfold. (Those comic book publishers, always corrupting the minds of America's youth. No wonder they keep getting kicked out of their lavish New York penthouse apartments.)