A-Z GUIDE TO MOVIES AND TV SHOWS PARODIED BY MAD, CRACKED, CRAZY, ETC. UP TO 1996. THEY HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS. SPOILERS AND OTHER NON-SEQUITURS, TOO. SOMETIMES THESE THINGS HAVE WORDS OR SITUATIONS WE DON'T USE ANYMORE. YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE THEY'RE OLD.
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TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES III: THE SACRED SANDS OF TIME (1993)
dir: Stuart Gillard
TEENAGE MUTANT NINJERK TURDLES III: THE SACRED SEQUEL OF DUMBNESS
Cracked #281, July 1993
w: Andy Simmons
a: Walter Brogan
As with a lot of Walter Brogan parodies, I can't tell exactly what's going on, but I'll try.
Kenshin (Henry Hayashi) is the son of a feudal lord in sixteenth century Japan, and objects to war and goes alone to his temple while Walker (Stuart Wilson, drawn here as Prince Charles), an English trader, supplies him with arms. Kenshin finds a scepter, touches it and is transported to the present.
In the present, April O'Neil (Paige Turco) is about to leave on vacation and visits the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turles, Raphael, Donatello, Michaelangelo, and Leonardo, to give them gifts. She gives that scepter to Splinter, the TMNTs' rat master, but touches it and ends up switching places with Kenshin, sending her back to Japan.
Kenshin refers to the Turtles as “kappa”, and is confused, but knows enough English to have explained to him what happened. Donatello calculates they have to go back in time to save April but have a few days before the power of the scepter goes away. April's boyfriend Casey Jones (Elias Koteas) shows up wanting to kick ass but has to stay behind to stay and watch the warriors the Turtles have to switch places with when they go back in time. April is back in Japan being tried for witchcraft.
The other Turtles go to the castle of Kennshin's father Norinaga and rescue April and also free Whit, a prisoner resembling Casey. In the woods, the Turtles, April, and Whit are attacked by villagers mistaking them for Norinaga's forces. Here's where I get confused.
TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES II: SECRET OF THE OOZE (1991)
dir: Michael Pressman
MAD #306, October 1991
w: Dick DeBartolo
a: Mort Drucker
Keno (Ernie Reyes Jr.) is delivering pizzas and encounters a burglary and decides to fight the robbers with his advanced martial arts knowledge. He gets in over his head and is stopped by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Raphael, Donatello, Michaelangelo, and Leonardo. The robbers are part of the Foot Clan, led by Shredder (Francois Chau), who has been dormant in a garbage dump after being presumed dead in the first movie, and Tatsu (Toshishiro Obata), his sidekick.
The Turtles and their master Splinter are living with reporter April O'Neil (Paige Turco, a different actress than before) while looking for a new apartment. Splinter wants them to keep practicing the ninja art of invisibity, and to return to the sewers where they belong.
Vanilla Ice, who only appears at the end of the movie, narrated this parody.
Shredder wakes up from the dump where he was left off, April is covering Techno Global Research Industries, which has pledged to clean up pullution there. She interviews Professor Jordan Perry (David Warner) about a toxic waste leak at that dump which has grown large plants there. Jordan has isolated a sample of that waste which happens to be the Ooze from which the TMNT originated. Now Shredder wants it and the Foot Clan are fighting to get it.
Perry was kidnapped and brought to Shredder's hideout and forced to use the Ooze on a snapping turtle and wolf, which creates Tokka and Rahzar.
CRACKED INTERVIEWS TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURDLES
Cracked #263, July 1991
w: Lou Silverstone
a: Gary Fields
THE TOONAGE MUTANT NINJA TURDLES II: THE SECRETION OF THE OOZE
Cracked #265, September 1991
w: Vic Bianco (Lou Silverstone)
a: John Severin
Los Angeles was considered the epitome of police brutality long before ACAB.
Col. Oliver North, when he was on trial, was revealed to have shredded secret documents.
TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES (1990)
dir: Steve Barron
TEEN-RAGE MOOLAH NITWIT TURTLES
MAD #291, December 1989
w: Dick DeBartolo
a: Sam Viviano
Weird. Here's an example of the parody coming out before the movie. Oh well, they were faithful to it, though.
There's a big crime wave in New York City being reported on by April O'Neal (Judith Hoag). The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles live in a sewer underneath, mentored by a rat named Splinter. Here he often refers to how TMNT were a large merchandising juggernaut.
Victims include Sam Viviano and Dick DeBartolo coming down from a subway platform. The Empire State Building is called the North Carolina State Building because that's where it was shot.
Splinter advises TMNT to practice martial arts before going out into the public. TMNT Michaelangelo, Donatello, and Leonardo order a pizza, their favorite food, while Raphael, the fourth one, is out on his own and sees vigilante Casey Jones (Elias Koteas) defeating the criminals. Raphael fights off Casey since he feels fighting criminals is his job. The Foot Clan has attacked April at the subway and the TMNT rescue her, taking her home and they hide when her boss Charles (Jay Patterson) comes to see her with his delinquent son Danny. (These scenes are parodied in a different order),
The Henson shop did the puppetry. The passersby in the second panel are MAD editors John Ficarra and Sara Fowler while the pizza is being delivered by Charlie Kadau.
At their manhole, Splinter explains the origin of TMNT to April. They were once normal turtles discovered in The Ooze (more about that in the sequel) which made them grow, and he decided to train them in the martial arts ala Yoda or Mr. Miyagi. Much of the Foot clan, led by Shredder, is children and has a hideout similar to Pleasure Island (thus the Pinocchio characters). They have captured Splinter. Danny has joined the clan but is starting to have doubts about it.
Casey rescues Splinter and Splinter fights Shredder, throwing him off the roof of a building. April, who had been fired, gets her job back and Charles is reunited with Danny.
The Beast from the Beauty and the Beast TV show, Ed Norton, and Phantom of the Opera are in the last panel
From Real vs. Real in #307, by Russ Cooper and Sam Viviano, September 1991.
German edition.
TOONAGE MUTANT NINJENK TURTLES
Cracked #255, August 1990
w: Tony Frank (Lou Silverstone)
a: John Severin
The turtles' real names are used on the first page but spoofed here.
MAD left out the part where Splinter is captured, Raphael is in a coma, and they seek solace at April's rural home.
TAXING
MAD #212, January 1980
w: Stan Hart
a: Angelo Torres
Sitcom that took place at the garage of a taxi station. Alex Reiger (Judd Hirsch) was the starring character. Most of the other drivers had other pursuits. Latka Gravas (Andy Kaufman) was the mechanic there. Bobby Wheeler (Jeff Conaway) was an aspiring actor, Elaine Nardo (Marilu Henner) was an aspiring art dealer, and Tony Banta (Tony Danza) was an aspiring boxer. John Burns (Randall Carver) was a hayseed from flyover country that was only used in the first season. Louie DePalma (Danny DeVito) was the dispatcher that was only shown at the garage.
Happy Days and Three's Company were on ABC that same night.
TAXING
Crazy #57, December 1979
w: Murad Gumen
a: Kent Gamble
Robert DeNiro made his mark in Taxi Driver and Raging Bull.
TAXIII!
Sick #127, June 1979
w: Arnold Drake
a: Jack Sparling
HEY, TAXI!
Bananas Looks at TV (most likely a reprint), circa 1980
w: Jovial Bob Stine
a: Sam Viviano
John was later replaced by “Reverend” Jim Ignatowski (Christopher Lloyd), a burnt-out ex-hippie.
Latka's dialogue is from Mork and Mindy, Smokey Stover, and The Day the Earth Stood Still.
