CITY SUCKERS

CITY SLICKERS II: THE LEGEND OF CURLY'S GOLD (1994)
dir: Paul Weiland

CITY SUCKERS II
Cracked #293, October 1994
w: Andy Simmons
a: John Severin

The first one was about three guys going to a Western fantasy camp during a midlife crisis, and after much of the crew disappears or dies, they have to live it out for real, and the main guy learns the real meaning of life. Here is a summary from MAD #310.

And here's the full parody of the sequel that Cracked did.

It's a year later, and Mitch (Billy Crystal) is now head of the radio station where he worked, and his friend Phil (Daniel Stern) works for him. He keeps seeing the ghost of Curly (Jack Palance), the last of the cowboys who died in the first movie. When Mitch finds an old treasure map from the Western location, they return to where they were the previous year to look for gold.

Mitch has lied to his wife and told her they're at a business conference in Las Vegas. They've brought along Mitch's ne'er do well brother Glen (Jon Lovitz). Glen's constant quoting of The Godfather, Part II is probably used because that film is also about a traitorous brother, but I also wonder if it also has anything to do with his replacing Bruno Kirby, who featured prominently in that, as the third lead in the first movie. Clues on the map are various desert monuments.

Phil goes to the bathroom and wipes himself with a cactus, with he thinks might be a rattlesnake bite, so Mitch and Glen would have to suck the poison from his ass. Just as they're about to, the men who sold them their gear have caught up to them and are going to kill them because they found out about the map. Those guys are foiled by someone they think is Curly at first, but is his brother Duke.

Duke now demands the treasure map back from Mitch, Phil, and Glen after saving their lives, but then decides they're tough enough to come along with him. Mitch decides he wants to ride along with a stallion he sees running in the wild and this summons a stampede of horses. After that gets resolved they all turn in for the night.

The next morning, they find another clue to the treasure is in a cave.

In the movie, they find the gold that turns out to be fake and is just another part of the fantasy camp with actors playing robbers reclaiming the gold. Here instead it's farming magazines used for pornography by cowboys. The real ending is Duke showing up after it's all over and telling Mitch the treasure map was real all along.