This Film Has Been Rated Ecch: FOR HER THIGHS ONLY

Tuesday, October 12, 2021

FOR HER THIGHS ONLY

FOR YOUR EYES ONLY (1981)
dir: John Glen

MAD #229, March 1982
w: Arnie Kogen
a: Mort Drucker

James Bond (Roger Moore) is mourning his wife right before the mini-adventure they always have right before the credits.

Blofeld has had the pilot in Bond's helicopter killed and left Bond dangling from it while he controls it remotely. bond manages to get back in the helicopter and get back control of it, now he can grab Blofeld and push him down a factory chimney. This is where the credits start and the main story begins.

Bond is briefed on his mission by M.

The ATAC machine, a device used to locate submarines, was on a recently destroyed ship, which a marine biologist named Sir Havelock (Jack Hedley) was assigned to locate before the enemy does. He and his wife were assassinated by Hector Gonzales, a hitman, and Bond has been assigned to track Gonzales down.

While Bond is on his mission, Gonzales is shot by Melinda Havelock (Carole Bouquet), on a mission of her own to avenge the death of her parents. The two of them escape the criminals in her car.

At the office of MI6, James Bond with the aid of Q (Desmond Llewellyn) uses state-of -the-art (for 1981) computer imagery to identify one of the men who was with Gonzales. He is Emile Locque (Michael Kostalos). Bond then goes to find Locque in Italy and gets information from a businessman named Ari Kristatos (Julian Glover), supervising ice skater Bibi (Lynn-Holly Johnson) who becomes infatuated with him.

The parody has Bond sleeping with Bibi, even though he resists her advances in the movie. The parody also references Britt Ekland in The Man with the Golden Gun and Ursula Andress in Dr. No. While escorting Bibi, Bond meets biathlon skier Eric Kriegler (John Wyman)...

...leading to a chase scene on the ski slopes and bobsled track, which they say is derivative of The Spy Who Loved Me and On Her Majesty's Secret Service. Later, he sees druglord Milos Colombo (Topol), who he hopes to be his connection to Locque. Bond uses Columbo's date (Cassandra Harris) to get to him, and there's a sex scene, then she's killed on the beach the next morning.

There's confusion (for me, anyway) about who's on who's side, but now Colombo is an ally, Kristatos is the one responsible for the death of the Havelocks, Locque was chasing Bond in a car until Bond knocked his car off a cliff, and there's an underwater scene similar to Thunderball. The ATAC machine is in the hands of the enemy, who's about to kill James Bond and Melinda Havelock.

Reference is made to Topol being in Fiddler on the Roof just like in the Flash Gordon spoof I posted last week. He only seemed to be in movies that began with F.

After James Bond and his group rescue the ATAC machine at the top of St. Cyril's, the Russians come and get it, and he throws it off the mountain so nobody gets it. Then the love scene all Bond movies end with.

A couple issues later, in The MAD Academy Award Show, written by Stan Hart and also drawn by Drucker, they had these two panels in the category of "Aging Bulls", older actors who feel they can still go the distance. Moore was the same age as me then.