GOODFELONS

GOODFELLAS (1990)
dir: Martin Scorsese

As far back as I can remember, I wanted to post parodies of movies and TV shows on the internet.

See what I did there?

No, but seriously, here's this...
GOODFELONS
Cracked #261, March 1991
w: Vic Bianco (Lou Silverstone)
a: Walter Brogan

Based on the book Wiseguy, by Henry Hill, a first-person account of life in the Mafia.

Right before the credits, the three main characters, Henry Hill (Ray Liotta), Jimmy Conway (Robert DeNiro), and Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) are burying a body before the story begins with Henry joining the mob. He starts out working at the store across the street, and then gets into trouble at home when his parents find out he isn't going to school.

Henry's father beats him as punishment, so he tells his boss Paulie (Paul Sorvino). Paulie says he'll "take care of it" (what he always says before violently fixing things) and gets his men to threaten the post office to never deliver letters from school to Henry's house again. Henry meets Jimmy, who hijacks trucks. He's also a loan shark, and we see him threatening wig shop owner Morris (Chuck Low). Tommy's the joker (by their standards) but also a loose cannon.

The parody combines two scenes--the one where Tommy fakes out Henry, and the one where he shoots a waiter (Michael Imperioli). Not sure if this was on purpose or by accident. Billy Batts, a gangster who's just been released from prison, gives Tommy a hard time, and gets killed for it. Billy was a 'made man', the highest echelon in the mob, so they have to bury the body. Now it goes back to the prologue. Before they bury the body, they stop by Tommy's mother (Catherine Scorsese)'s house to pick up a shovel, lying about why they're there. Henry goes out on a double date with Tommy and that's where he meets his future wife Karen (Lorraine Bracco)

I think that's supposed to be Martin Scorsese in the window of Tommy's mother's house. That's Henny Youngman at the club.

Karen is impressed Henry is a rich guy with connections that knows everyone, but isn't exactly sure what he does.

Henry and Karen eventually get married and she becomes part of the mob families. There's an unwritten rule that all the guys have a wife and a mistress. Karen doesn't approve and tries to kill Henry. Paulie intervenes, telling Henry to go back to his wife, and he'll "take care of it" while Henry and Jimmy go down to Miami to get money from a client who owes a gambling debt. They threaten to feed him to the lions.

The man who owed the debt had a sister with the FBI, who squealed and sent them to prison, and they continue a gangster life in prison. Henry's wife visits him in prison and finds out his mistress has been visiting too. After release, he and Jimmy pull off the biggest cocaine heist in history on their own. Jimmy gets mad that everyone involved is spending money on fancy cars and clothes when they should be laying low so they're not caught.

Tommy's about to become a 'made' man, an honor which can only be given to someone 100% Italian, but is whacked right before then because of having killed a made man earlier. But the party's over as dead bodies continue to be found and people are being arrested left and right.

Henry gets increasingly paranoid as he sees feds in helicopters circling his house, and when he gets caught, agrees to be a federal witness in exchange for turning everyone else in.

Mr. Show did a bit about GoodFellas that was more a parody of how movies are heavily edited for TV, back when movies were shown on commercial TV.

Now it's late, so I'm going to sleep, like a schnook.