A-Z GUIDE TO MOVIES AND TV SHOWS PARODIED BY MAD, CRACKED, CRAZY, ETC. UP TO 1996. THEY HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS. SPOILERS AND OTHER NON-SEQUITURS, TOO. SOMETIMES THESE THINGS HAVE WORDS OR SITUATIONS WE DON'T USE ANYMORE. YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE THEY'RE OLD.
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Sunday, January 29, 2023
ON SHAKY GROUND
ON DEADLY GROUND (1994)
dir: Steven Seagal
ON SHAKY GROUND
Cracked #291, August 1994
w: Lou Silverstone
a: Walter Brogan
Made in the time when Steven Seagal was just as bankable as Stallone and Schwarzenegger. Not that they are anymore, just that they were taken seriously longer than he was.
Aegis Oil owns properties in Alaska, and bought the rights to land from a tribe 20 years earlier. The rights revert back unless their system is up and running. To make the deadline, CEO Michael Jennings (Michael Caine) forces his workers to use substandard parts. The rig suffers a blowout due to the faulty parts, and firefighter Forrest Taft (Seagal) extinguishes the blaze. Taft hacks into the company’s files and learn of the faulty parts.
Jennings arranges for Taft to be eliminated by his Chief Security Officer, MacGruder (John C. McGinkey) and his assistant Otto (Sven-Ole Thorsen). Taft narrowly survives the ensuing explosion and is rescued by Masu (Joan Chen) from the Inuit tribe. Taft undergoes a vision quest and sees the full truth, for which he vows to make amends for his part in Aegis's crimes. Before giving a speech about his new environmental conscience, he kick ass.
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