RETCHIE RETCH

RICHIE RICH (1994)
dir: Donald Petrie

RETCHIE RETCH
Cracked #298, May 1995
w: Lou Silverstone
a: Don Orehek

A comic book adaptation when movies of comics characters were still adaptations and comics weren't advertisements for the movies. This starred Macaulay Culkin, then Hollywood's “it” boy, as Richie Rich, the world's richest kid. In the beginning it's established how rich he is. Reggie Jackson is his baseball coach and Claudia Schiffer is his aerobics instructor.

His father, Richard Rich (Edward Hermann) is a benevolent executive who has reopened the United Tool company and can't make it to their re-opening ceremony so he sends Richie instead. Richie is distracted by local kids playing sandlot baseball and discouraged from playing with them by his butler Cadbury (Jonathan Hyde). 1

Orehek obviously used the comics rather than the actors for reference. He was probably assigned this instead of one of their usual caricaturists specifically so he would do that, though one of the kids here is Reggie Van Dough, Richie's rival in the comics, who was made into an adult in this movie, as we shall soon see.

Richie later invites the local kids to his house and they're impressed he has his own McDonald's. Leonard Van Dough (John Larroquette), who works on the board of Rich Industries, schemes to have the Riches killed while they're overseas so he can take over the company. His father and mother (Christine Ebersole) leave him behind because he has friends, and they're deemed missing after their plane is bombed.

The Rich family has a replica of themselves as Mt. Rushmore on their property. Mt. Rushmore was used for the climactic chase scene in Hitchock's North By Northwest and on the replica in the final chase scene in this movie as well, most likely as an homage. Cracked probably wrote this parody off a script with Leonard Van Dough's name being something different, since he's called “Coolaide” here

Richie Rich runs the company in his parents' abscene with Cadbury acting in loco parentis, and Leonard Van Dough frames Cadbury for the murder of Richard and Regina Rich. Cadbury escapes from prison, and he and Richie, now on the lam, and go to Richie's friend Gloria (Stephi Lineburgh)'s house to track them on her computer. Before he can locate them, Van Dough and his men find him and kidnap him and all his friends.

The vault is actually inside the Mini-Rushmore, not the factory. It's what Lawrence Van Dough had been trying to get to all throughout the movie thinking it was full of money and bonds, only to find it was worthless to him, as it only contained Rich family treasures they kept for sentimental reasons.

The punchline, that Richie's friends are only using him for the money, is disproven by the movie itself, where they show they were using him at the beginning but decided they actually liked him.

ONE DAY AT RICHIE RICH'S HOUSE
Cracked #298, May 1995
w: Rob Weske
a: Don Orehek

Macaulay Culkin was already a has-been at this point.

RITCHE RETCH
Crazy #69, December 1980
w: Jim Owsley
a: Howard Bender & Marie Severin

Crazy had done a parody of Harvey's other big title Casper years earlier, which became its most famous article and was reprinted several times, so they figured they'd duplicate the success with this. Besides portraying what the life of a rich kid would really be like, they tied it in with news about the Symbionese Liberation Army, a criminal group that held an heiress for ransom and she ended up joining them. Marvel always looked down on Harvey Comics even though they would eventually start their own line imitating them.