LETHAL WRECKIN' TOO!

LETHAL WEAPON 2 (1989)
dir: Richard Donner

LETHAL WRECKIN' TOO!
MAD #293, March 1990
w: Dick DeBartolo
a: Jack Davis

Continuing adventures of Los Angeles policemen Roger Murtaugh (Danny Glover) and Martin Riggs (Mel Gibson). Beginning right in the middle of a chase scene during their case investigating a case against some South African money launderers and after they catch it, they open the trunk and it's full of Krugerreands. Later at the station, in a scene never before used in a buddy cop movie, their captain lectures them on the damage they've done. Riggs is making a bet that he can escape a straitjacket, setting up a later scene and establishing his “crazy” character.

Grey Poupon mustard had and ad camapaign where two cars met in the middle of nowhere and the driver of one asked the other if they had any Grey Poupon.

Murtaugh and Riggs' next assignment is to guard a federal witness named Leo Getz (Joe Pesci) who they constantly have to tell to shut up. Pesci had small roles up to then but had not had his breakthrough with GoodFellas yet and so was not yet deemed worthy of caricature. A room service waiter turns out to be a murderer, leading to them falling out the window and into a pool to protect Leo. The cops find out the drug smuggling ring they're protecting Leo from is connected to the money launderers they were chasing earlier and go back to investigating it. They bring Leo to the case because he can find the drug kingpins.

Riggs and Murtaugh harass Rudd (Joss Ackland) a South American diplomat protecting the criminals who's also an Apartheidist and has diplomatic immunity, so there's not much they can do. Later, when Murtaugh is using the toilet in the consulate, he finds it has a bomb that will go off if he gets up and Riggs rescues him. Riggs also starts dating Rudd's secretary Rika van der Haas (Patsy Kensit). Riggs' dog Sam is kicked out so he doesn't interrupt them during sex but comes back to warn them of coming druglords.

There was a James Bond movie called License to Kill with Pierce Brosnan around then.

ILL-LEGAL WEAPONS
Cracked #251, January 1990
w: Vic Bianco (Lou Silverstone)
a: Walter Brogan

The chase was in Murthaugh's wife's car.

The movie began with the first few bars of the Looney Tunes theme, so there is sort of a cartoon connection.

LEGAL WRECKIN'

LETHAL WEAPON (1987)
dir: Richard Donner

MAD #274, October 1987
w: Dick DeBartolo
a: Angelo Torres

The movie begins with Amanda Hunsaker (Jackie Swanson) having fallen from the Capitol building in Los Angeles, we don't know if it was a suicide or a drug overdose. Roger Murtaugh (Danny Glover), a police sergeant who has just had his fiftieth birthday, has been asked to investigate the case as a favor by her father Michael (Tom Atkins), a former military friend. Roger has just been partnered with Martin Riggs (Mel Gibson), an officer whose wife just died and he has psychotic and suicidal tendencies.

The parody skips all that and goes half an hour into the movie after the exposition establishing all this, their first meeting, and begins with their first case together, talking a man off the ledge of a building. Riggs goes up there onto the ledge.

Riggs cuffs himself to the man and jumps off the building himself. Murtaugh's line that he repeats throughout the movie is “I'm getting too old for this shit!” Amanda Hunsaker was a hooker and they investigate her case first by questioning her pimp in Beverly Hills. Murtaugh knows what a loose cannon Riggs is and insists on doing the talking himself. While they're there, Murtaugh doesn't the pimp coming with a gun and Riggs shoots him in time, but ends up drowning him in the swimming pool in the process.

Murtaugh has Riggs over for dinner, his teenage daughter (Traci Wolfe) has a crush on him. They practice at work their shots and Riggs shows how good he is by shooting a smiley face onto the target. They go to question Amanda's friend Dixie (MAD got the names wrong), but her house explodes before they can get to her.They ask some kids nearby if they saw anything and one kid says he saw someone with a tattoo just like Riggs'. This is a special tattoo only Riggs' unit in Vietnam had, so now they know there's more to it than just a hooker falling out a window. They go back to Mr. Hunsaker, who confesses she was a pawn in a drug ring he's part of, which he can't talk about or he'll be killed, which he then is before he can spill the bbeans.

They ask other hookers if they know anything, but the Vietnam vets who operate the drug ring are onto them, and shoot them, leaving Riggs for dead. They think they killed him but he had on a bullet proof vest. The vets have kidnapped Murtaugh's daughter, holding her hostage unless he gives up what their knows about the drug ring. Gen. McAllister (Mitchell Ryan) kidnaps and tortures Murtaugh, trying to get what he knows out of him. Riggs, who they think is dead, tries to assassinate them, but they find him too, and Mr. Joshua (Gary Busey) tries to get info out of him as well by electrocuting him.

Riggs escapes, unties Murtaugh, and they chase Mr. Joshua throughout the city. McAllister tries to drive away with the heroin as well. But is hit by a bus and his car catches fire. Joshua tries to attack Murtaugh's family at his home but is eluded by a police car use as a decoy with a brick on the gas pedal while Murtaugh and Riggs are waiting with their guns. Riggs is finally able to get over the death of his wife, supposedly, because there are three more films after this one.

ILL-LEGAL WEAPONS
Cracked #251, January 1990
w: Vic Bianco (Lou Silverstone)
a: Walter Brogan

Watching in the window are Clint Eastwood as his Dirty Harry character and Crazy Eddie. He was the spokesperson for a New York and New Jersey stereo chain that used the motto “our prices are insane”.

LEONERD 6

LEONARD, PART 6 (1987)
dir: Paul Weiland

LEONERD 6
Cracked # 236, July 1988
w: Joe Catalano
a: Frederick (Rick) Altergott

Considered one of the worst movies ever made, and one of the biggest flops of all time. Cosby was co-writer and producer and he himself disowned it. But as we all know, still not the worst thing Bill Cosby ever did.

Leonard Parker (Bill Cosby) is a secret agent who has been retired and is now a restaurateur, but brought out of retirement by his boss (Joe Don Baker). The adventures of him as a spy are in the non-existent parts 1-5. He is estranged from his wife Joan (Victoria Rowell). His daughter Allison (Pat Colbert) is drawn as Lisa Bonet here. Medusa (Gloria Foster) is the villain of the movie, a vegetarian who hypnotizes animals. Cosby was spokesperson for Coca-Cola and Jell-O at the time and the movie contained many product placements. His daughter his engaged to a man older than him.

Medusa has vegetarians guarding her headquarters, which Leonard fends off with meat.

REPRIEVE IT FOR BEAVER

LEAVE IT TO BEAVER
1957-1963 CBS-ABC


I hate when they stretch things out to be proportioned for today's TV screen, but this is what I found.


REPRIEVE IT FOR BEAVER
MAD #262, April 1986
w: Dennis Snee
a: Angelo Torres

Sitcom about American family that's become the generic defenition of “1950s American household”, the mythical white suburban picket fence family. It was parodied in their feature A Bad Case of the Re-Runs they had briefly in the eighties when Nick at Nite first started.

The family was father Ward (Hugh Beaumont), mother June (Barbara Billingsley), and kids Wally (Tony Dow), and Theodore a/k/a “The Beaver” (Jerry Mathers). They had various friends but for this there were Larry Mundello (Rusty Stevens) and Eddie Haskell (Ken Osmond).

The neighbor here is Ozzie Nelson from The Nelson Family. The man from Mars is, of course, Bill Cosby, back when we liked him.

This was Mathers' and Dow's obligatory celebrity letters to the editor.

This was the Columbia House ad parody they mentioned, which co-incidentally had a Beaver joke.

SCTV did their Leave It to Beaver parody.

A LEAGUE TO BEMOAN

A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN (1992)
dir: Penny Marshall

A LEAGUE TO BEMOAN
MAD #317, March 1993
w: Stan Hart
a: Angelo Torres

Starts with an elderly Dottie (Lynn Cartwright) going to the opening of an exhibit at the Baseball Museum in Cooperstown honoring the first women's baseball league, then flashes back to when it all began. Dottie (Geena Davis) and her sister Kit (Lori Petty) are playing in their hometown and when they're working their day jobs at a farm, they're approached by talent scout Ernie Capadino (Jon Lovitz) who offers them the job of professional baseball. With the men all going to war, the owners are starting all-female baseball teams. Kit convinces Dottie and on their way to the field. Ernie recruits another Marla (Megan Cavanagh) along the way, initially turning her down for not being pretty enough, until Dottie and Kit convince him.

”Get to know me!” was was of Jon Lovitz' lesser known Saturday Night Live characters where he'd reveal traits about himself. Carl Denham was the fictional director in the original King Kong, I'm not sure if this is more than a pun on “denim”.

Ernie's work is done and he leaves. All the ball players get acquainted. The other two stars are Doris (Rosie O'Donnell) and Mae (Madonna). Madonna was famous for wearing a bullet bra in her stage act, but didn't as her character in this movie. All the players must go to finishing school and learn etiquette. Jimmy Dougan (Tom Hanks) an ex-baseball player who still has a following, and candy bar mogul/team owner Walter Harley (Garry Marshall), who's starting the team, gives him the job as coach even though he's just a drunk, since initially neither have faith in the team. Evelyn (Bitty Schram) brings her son along to the games and he's a nuisance to everyone.

Sex was the title of a coffee-table book by Madonna in the 90s

Marla gets married. Jimmy makes Evelyn cry leading to the “no crying in baseball” speech. The owner was just using the womens' leagues until the “real” players returned and wants to cancel it, but their manager (David Strathairn) wants to keep it going. Dottie and Kit get into a fight and Kit is traded to another team. Dottie's husband (Bill Pullman) returns from the war.

Thelma and Louise was Geena Davis's breakthrough movie.

Dottie quits, but comes back to play the world series. She ends up having to play against her sister Kit and lets Kit win because she always wanted to start a family and preferred to be a housewife, and knew baseball was in Kit's blood.

Roseanne created a big scandal in the early nineties when she grabbed her crotch and spat while singing the national anthem before a baseball game imitating a baseball player. Those were more innocent times.

H. Ross Perot was a businessman who ran for President independently in 1992. Other members of the baseball hall of fame are Robert Redford in The Natural and John Goodman in The Babe.

FLAWRENCE OF ARABIA

LAWRENCE OF ARABIA (1962)
dir: David Lean

FLAWRENCE OF ARABIA
MAD #86, April 1964
w: Larry Siegel
a: Mort Drucker

Movie begins at funeral of T. E. Lawrence (Peter O'Toole), and repoters trying to figure out who he is.

The man on the far right is being lured away by Christine Keeler, known then for bringing down British politicians.

It then goes back to 1917, when Lawrence was a lieutenant in the army, seen by his supervisors as insolent and vain, and transferred to the supervision of Dryden (Claude Rains) to help Prince Faisal (Alec Guiness) and his men fight the Turks despite the objections of General Murray (Donald Wolfit).

Omar Sharif is Ali-ibn el Kharish. Lawrence is called “English” by them.

Lawrence convinces Auda Abu Tayi (Anthony Quinn) to take their side and help fight the Turks.

There was an intermission during this, because it was almost 4 hours, and theaters that showed them would charge double the price of admission. The journalist was played by Arthur Kennedy.

Cleopatra was the other blockbuster that year.

From Beatlezania drawn by John Severin, in Cracked #42, March 1965.

From Pell-Mell with Mel illustrated by John Severin, in Cracked #125, July 1975.

LAW & DISORDER

LAW & ORDER
NBC 1990-present

LAW & DISORDER
MAD #328, July 1994
w: Dick DeBartolo
a: Mort Drucker

Long running show that began with the first half of a case going through the criminal process and the second half going through the judicial process. It's gone through several cast changes over the years and multiple spinoffs, right now this is about the fourth season of the regular show.

The two main cops are Lenny Briscoe (Jerry Orbach) and Mike Logan (Chris Noth).

The location was always printed on screen, and they'd use thir famous clanging sound to accompany it.

The third panel doesn't age well.

I believe the person in the picture is George Dzundza from the first season.

The picture is of Richard Brooks, who was once a district attorney on the show.

The district attorney was Adam Schiff (Stephen Hill)

Claire Kincaid (Jill Hennessy) was the assistant district attorney and Anita Van Buren (S. Epatha Merkerson) was the lieutenant.

LEVERNE & SHIRLY

LAVERNE AND SHIRLEY
1976-1983 ABC

The second part of our look at takes on Laverne and Shirley, this time concentrating on all the versions Cracked did. They often did more than one.

LEVERNE & SHIRLY
Cracked # 136, October 1976
a: Sigbjorn (John Severin)

The program started out as a spinoff of Happy Days so The Fonz often made appearances on many of the early shows.

Laverne DeFazio (Penny Marshall) and Shirley Feeney (Cindy Williams), two single women, worked at the Shotz brewery in Milwaukee. Laverne had a monogrammed L on every article of clothing.

Laverne's father Frank (Phil Foster) was the owner of a pizza parlor and bowling alley.

Lenny (Michael McKean) and Squiggy (David Lander) were the creepy upstairs neighbors who would happen to show up any time anyone mentioned greasy losers or something being gross. Squiggy is the only one they use in this parody.

LEVERNE AND SHURLEY
Cracked #145, October 1977
a: John Severin

Here's the second of their parodies. Rocky was one of the properties they claimed as their own that they would use on their covers to sell copies.

Okay. Here's Lenny as well.

To show Lenny and Squiggy were degenerates, they were shown as being into comic books and cartoons, but look at people like you and me now (Don't think I'm leaving out girls). They never actually showed Lenny and Squiggy's apartment.

Another supporting character was Carmine Ragusa a/k/a The Big Ragu (Eddie Mekka)

Here's Rocky Balboa in an example of Cracked's slash fiction.

Lucy and Ethel from I Love Lucy and Ralph and Norton from The Honeymooners are some of Rocky's students, despite their being from a different era.

14 Charlie's Angels was another entity Cracked would try to fit into every one of their movie and TV parodies, especially with Farrah Fawcett-Majors being the biggest TV sex symbol of the mid-70s

From If King Kong Guest Starred on TV in Cracked #140, March 1977, illustrated by Howard Nostrand

Eventually Laverne and Shirley left the brewery and joined the army.
LEVERNE AND SHURLEY
Cracked #166, January 1980
a: John Severin

Shirley had a stuffed kitten, Boo Boo Kitty, she would hold onto at home.

Their landlady was Edna Babish (Betty Garrett)

Eventually they all moved to Los Angeles and the show took place there. Frank DeFazio and Edna Babish married and started a business. Cindy Williams left, even though the show continued to be called Laverne and Shirley, and was replaced by Rhonda (Leslie Easterbrook), a vapid actress. The show jumped a few years and took place in the sixties.