A-Z GUIDE TO MOVIES AND TV SHOWS PARODIED BY MAD, CRACKED, CRAZY, ETC. UP TO 1996. THEY HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS. SPOILERS AND OTHER NON-SEQUITURS, TOO. SOMETIMES THESE THINGS HAVE WORDS OR SITUATIONS WE DON'T USE ANYMORE. YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE THEY'RE OLD.
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Sunday, December 18, 2022
MY BUDDYGUARD
MY BODYGUARD (1980)
dir: Tony Bill
MY BUDDYGUARD
Cracked #177, May 1981
a: John Severin
Clifford Peache (Chris Makepeace) is the son of the manager of a hotel in Chicago (Martin Mull, who has a mustache in the movie), and is about to begin his first day of high school. His grandmother (Ruth Gordon) also lives there, constantly putting his job in jeopardy. She was typecast in the 70s as the feisty old lady.
Moody (Matt Dillon) is the bully of the school taking protection money from all the kids in school. The only kid he's scared of is Ricky Linderman (Adam Baldwin) who, we don't see yet. Ricky's bigger than anyone else, and is a loner rumored to have killed his brother. Clifford's just trying to avoid Moody on his first day.
Clifford gets chauffered from school and back to his privileged life. The next day in school, he gets his locker filled with garbage in gym class.
Clifford asks Ricky to be his bodyguard but Ricky isn't interested and walks away. When Clifford refuses to pay extortion money to Moody, he's stuffed into a locker and Ricky comes back and lets him out. Now with Ricky behind him, Clifford has the confidence to find Moody after school and squirt ketchup on him. As he's being chased, he stops and is confronted by Ricky, who's standing up for all the other students now.
Ricky walks away again, saying it was just this once, and Clifford asks his teacher Mrs. Jump (Kathryn Grody) what the case with Ricky really is. Ricky accidentally shot his brother. Clifford doesn't find it that big a deal, and goes into the city to try and befriend him. He finally wins Ricky over after finding a missing piece for his motorcycle. They become friends and start hanging out in the park.
Moody comes to the park and he has a new boyguard too. Mike (Hank Salas) terrorizes all the kids, proves Ricky's not so tough, and throws Ricky's bike into the lake. Ricky's humiliated and runs away again, hating himself for the accident with his brother.
Moody has fished the motorcycle from the lake (here it's Ricky) and has decided it's his now. Ricky and Mike fight and Clifford decides to fight Moody on his own, winning. Ricky thinks Clifford's the tough one nowand asks him to be his bodyguard.
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