HOKEYHONTAS

POCAHONTAS (1995)
dirs: Mike Gabriel, Eric Goldberg

HOKEYHONTAS
MAD #341, December 1995
w: Dick DeBartolo
a: Walt F. Rosenberg (Steve Smallwood)

Steve Smallwood was someone who worked for Disney so it was a conflict of interest for him to use his real name.

Pocahantas (Irene Bedard) is a member of the Powhatan tribe in Virginia. Her animal sidekicks, mandatory in any Disney movie are a racoon named Meeko and a hummingbird named Flit. The village where the tribe lives is about to be taken over by the English, led by Governor Ratcliffe (David Ogden Stiers) and his henchmen Thomas (Christian Bale) and Captain John Smith (Mel Gibson). Their animal sidekick is a pug named Percy.

The English are going to call their new land Jamestown. Pocahantas has been told by her father (Russell Means), chief of the tribe, she is to marry Kocoum (James Apaumut). She sees there is more to life, which she sings about in “Just Around the Riverbend” (below), and asks advice from Grandmother Willow (Linda Hunt), who lives in the form of a tree.

Pocahantas meets John Smith, who tells him his men have come to the area looking for gold, of which there is none. Her father tells her to stay away from the white man, She is torn between his people and hers, and again asks Grandmother Willow what to do.

The conquerors and natives battle. After Meeko is killed and John Smith is wounded and Pocahantas is in love, they all realize fighting is useless. Except for the Governor, who his men tie up before he can inflict more danger. They must return home to give John Smith the medical attention he needs, and he and his men bid she and her people farewell.

A few issues earlier, this was MAD's Fold-in. Since it's impossible to fold a screen, the folding has been done for you.

Casper came out the year before and was the big childrens' movie hit Disney had nothing to do with. And Casper and the Ghostly Trio had always been compared to the ghosts of Ghostbusters.

POCAHONEY
Cracked Summer Special #5, Summer 1995
w: Andy Simmons
a: Walter Brogan

Cracked got into how Disney's comic relief animals are generally the ones used for merchandise. Pocahontas sings “Colors of the Wind” (below) to convince John Smith against imperialism.