THE POOPSIDEDOWN ADVENTURE

THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE (1972)
dir: Ronald Naeme

MAD #161, September 1973
w: Dick DeBartolo
a: Mort Drucker

In articles about MAD, they like to talk about how this was the only cover without Alfred E. Neuman. A bit of revisionism going on, since there were quite a few. They said it was the best-selling issue in their history, which was true, though that's more due to it being a high point for magazines in general. And it had the return of the original Kurtzman logo for just one issue.

The disaster movie was the dominant genre for big-budget movies until Star Wars came along.

Captain Harrison (Leslie Nielsen) runs the Poseidon and warns Linorcos (Fred Sadoff), owner of the ship's cargo, that the weather can't handle full speed for the ship, but is ordered to do so anyway.

They establish who the main characters are, Rogo (Ernest Borgnine) and his wife (Stella Stevens) are planning to head to dinner that night but she's afraid to go because she's afraid of running into one of her former clients from when she was a prostitute (the fact that she doesn't ruins the chance for a storyline right there). Belle and Manny Rosen (Shelley Winters, Jack Albertson) are resting on deck and run into lonely bachelor Martin (Red Buttons). Reverend Frank Scott (Gene Hackman) has just given a sermon.

Susan Shelby (Pamela Sue Martin) and her brother Robin (Eric Shea) are en route to meet their parents. Robin knows everything about ships. They all have dinner on New Years Eve when disaster starts to strike.

A wave turns the ship upside-down right after the New Years celebration. Rev. Scott takes the initiative in rescuing everyone. He believes that by going to the top (formerly the bottom), they can be saved. Robin knows that the propellor shaft has a hull only an inch thick, the thinnest part of the boat, which is above water and their greatest chance of getting out. A waiter named Acres (Roddy McDowall) is aleady at the top and everyone else climbs a christmas tree to get there.

Rogo's wife needs to take off her dress to navigate their escape but is wearing nothing underneath so puts on his shirt. Nonnie (Carol Lynley), a singer we saw previously, is another one of the survivors. Mrs. Rosen doesn't think she can get through because of her weight.

The first panel has Olympic swimmer Mark Spitz.

The way to the engine room is now flooded so they have to hold a rope and travel underwater to get there. Susan won't go without her brother because he is missing since he had to go to the bathroom (which he didn't need to do since the ocean is basically one big toilet. And how did he use a toilet when they're all upside-down and would be broken?). The rope needs to be connected first and Mrs. Rosen offers to do that since she was a championship swimmer once. Rev. Scott, the leader of the group, won't allow her but gets trapped underwater trying to do it himself. Nonnie can't swim but Martin tells her to hold on to him.

Now they all have to walk across a walk to get to the hull. Mrs. Rogo doesn't make it and falls into the fire below. (not shown: Mr. Rogo won't go on without her and blames everyone. They all tell him giving up is not what a cop, his former occupation, would do.) Rev. Scott, in turning off the steam valve, falls below too. A rescue squad overhears the remaining survivors and brings them all to safety.

THE PERSPIRIN' ADVENTURE
Cracked #111, September 1973
a: John Severin

Ben and Willard were rats from the movie Willard that came out that year, they missed the opportunity to make a joke about how Ernest Borgnine was in that as well.

Mrs. Rosen dies after coming back up for air and saving Rev. Scott.

THE UPSEIDOWN ADVENTURE
Crazy #1, December 1973
w: Len Wein
a: Ross Andru & Vic Martin

Gene Hackman's previous role was Popeye Doyle in The French Connection.

Every one of these parodies made a joke about a cruise liner that sank in real life. I guess I would too.