BEAUTY AND THE BEEF

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST (1991)
dirs: Gary Trousdale, Kirk Wise

BEAUTY AND THE BEEF
MAD #320, June 1993
w: Stan Hart
a: Angelo Torres

Half of Pinocchio and Jiminy Cricket at the Movies, their takeoff of Siskel and Ebert at the Movies. Their other half was A-Lad-Dim, which is also here.

Belle (Paige O'Hara) is the daughter of the local inventor, and Gaston (Richard White), the strapping young lad of the town, has his eyes set on marrying her.

(Congressman Bob Packwood and Clarence Thomas were two high-profile sexual harassment cases in the news long before #MeToo showed this was more common than people thought. Mike Ditka was a Chicago Bears coach fired for constant tantrums).

She rejects his advances, and later searches for her missing father, and finds he's at the castle of the Beast (Robby Benson).

Because the father has discovered the castle, he is sentenced to stay there for life. She sacrifices her own life in exchange for his to set him free and meets the other inanimate objects that live in the castle. A curse has been placed on them and it until the Beast falls in love. She meets the objects. Some like her and some don't.
Belle has the run of the place as long as she doesn't go to the West Wing, that contains the flower that symbolizes his loneliness. She can't stand how he's an ogre and she escapes.

They play up her being a bookworm by drawing her with a book in nearly ever panel, though it's not that big a part in the film.

In her escape, she is attacked by wolves, and the Beast saves her. But being a MAD parody, they can't avoid referencing another concurrent movie.

Since the spell will also be broken on the objects if the Beast falls in love, they try to groom him to make it happen, teaching him to be more refined.

She wants to see her father again and he's in love so he's willing to give up his transformation so she can leave but he will still remain a beast.

In town, Gaston has Belle's father put in an insane asylum for talking about the beast. He's willing to have him released on the condition Belle marry him. She refuses and proves there is in fact a beast in a castle so he leads an angry mob to invade the castle.

The anthropomorphic objects retaliate but Gaston fights through and fights the Beef. Gaston falls of the castle, and a loveless Beast collapses. (They never explain how he and his servants are transformed back into real people again).

There's a twist ending below. They were still being homophobic in 1993.

“The balcony is closed” is how Siskel and Ebert would sign off every movie review show.

UPDATE:
BEAUTY AND THE FEAST
Cracked Summer Special #5, Summer 1995
a: Walter Brogan

First page meant to be a fake video cover.